Published on
August 28, 2025
Are you in a generous relationship?
When we think of what makes a good romantic partnership, generosity isn’t usually at the top of the list. Yet science shows that higher levels of generosity in relationships indicate happier couples.
In one national study of 1,365 married couples, researchers examined how everyday generosity, such as small acts of kindness, affection, and forgiveness, affected marital quality. They found that couples who reported more of these small, generous acts were significantly happier in their marriages, experienced less conflict and felt they were less likely to divorce.
What exactly does it mean to be in a generous partnership? Researchers from the University of Virginia’s National Marriage Project created four questions designed to measure generosity in relationships. If you’re wondering if you’re in a generous relationship, take a moment to reflect and answer each question:
If there’s one area where you feel you may be falling short, it doesn't mean your relationship isn't strong. If anything, it's a reminder that making small efforts to show appreciation and love to your partner can make you both happier.
If you want to incorporate more generosity into your relationship, here are some Microsteps to try:
Make a cup of coffee or tea for your partner.
It's a small act of kindness that can help show you care about them, which can brighten their day and deepen your relationship.
Say “thank you” for something small each day.
Even if it’s your partner making the bed in the morning or doing the dishes, it can help show you notice the small things in your relationship.
Ask, “Is there anything I can do to make your day easier?”
A simple offer of help shows consideration and shared partnership.
Give your partner a compliment.
We can forget to compliment each other when things get busy. Something as small as, “I’m lucky to have you” can feel heartfelt and meaningful.
Ask your partner about something that came up in your last conversation.
It’s a powerful way to make them feel heard and let them know you’re listening.
Take one thing off your partner’s plate without asking.
If you see the laundry piling up or an errand they haven’t had time for, step in and take care of it.
Encourage your partner to take time for self-care.
Simply saying, “You’ve been working so hard lately. Why don’t you take some time to relax or do something just for yourself?” can go a long way in showing support and care.
Rebecca Muller Feintuch is the Deputy Editor at Thrive. Her previous work experience includes roles in editorial and digital journalism. Rebecca is passionate about storytelling, self-care, and health and well-being. She is a graduate of New York University, where she studied Media, Culture and Communications with a minor in Creative Writing. For her undergraduate thesis, she researched the relationship between women and fitness media consumerism.