My wife, Debbie, recently returned from a 3-week trip to Peru, including her 25th high school reunion. For her reunion, she spent the week with people she grew up with and went to school with since she was 3. She hadn’t seen some of them in over 15 years. She had a blast, more so than she had ever expected. The fact that she lives very different lives from a lot of them didn’t matter. They danced and sang and laughed for hours on end.
Deb came back from Peru full of life and energy and with a desire to have more fun. She posted a video message on her Facebook page about the importance of having fun even with the most mundane things like cooking and cleaning.
It’s easy to let monotony and routine get the better of us as we get older and become involved in our careers and as parents. Debbie returning with this energy and excitement has been challenging in some important ways because it is forcing us to look at the routines in our relationship as well as our differences.
Deb reconnected with a part of herself that she feels has been dormant for a while, and she came back with that part switched back on and not wanting to let it go dim again.
What do we do though when our ideas of fun are very different? For me, spending time with family and close friends, working, creating, reading and watching movies is as good as it gets. For Deb, her idea of fun right now is Latin dancing and socializing.
One of our goals is to make a conscious effort to have more fun together, but we also both want to give each other the space to have fun on our own. We are each making a list of things we’d like to do individually, as a couple, and as a family. In the meantime, I have purchased a home karaoke machine and we are squeezing the juice out of it after our little one goes to bed.
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David B. Younger, Ph.D. is the creator of Love After Kids, for couples that have grown apart since having children. He is a clinical psychologist and couples therapist with a web-based private practice and lives in Austin, Texas with his wife, 13-year-old son, 3-year-old daughter and 5-year-old toy poodle.
Originally published at www.loveafterkids.com