Community//

3 tips for when you’ve lost your rag with your kids (a.k.a mum guilt)

Lost it with your kids and can’t move past the guilt? You’re in good company. We've all been there.

Rebecca_Caution
Photo credit Image Bliss Photography

Parenting has never been easy. Yet for the modern day parent – with more time spent in close proximity to our kids than ever before and multiple demands on our time pulling us in all directions – it’s all too easy to let the stress boil over, flip your lid at the kids and then wallow in the inevitable guilt and shame that follows. Try these tips instead…

1. Reconnect and make amends⠀
First things first, make an unqualified apology, which means making no excuses for your behaviour and taking back anything you’ve said which you didn’t mean. Maybe you did mean it at the time, but you know it’s not true, not helpful and maybe even detrimental to your child’s sense of worth in the long run.

Don’t skip this important step. Your child needs you to role model a proper reconciliation if you want him or her to grow up willing and able to do the same. Any apology where a “but” escapes your lips needs rejigging into one where you take full responsibility for your actions.

2. Forgive yourself⠀
Consciously and wholeheartedly forgive yourself. You’re only human and – despite the unfathomable high standards society seems to expect of parents, especially mothers – no parent is perfect.

Take care of yourself in whatever way you need to recuperate because you deserve it. Breathe, rest, exercise, take a proper break if you have support and are able to. If you don’t, maybe this looks like treating yourself to a bath with candles if you can commit to carving out a small slice of time after your kids’ bedtime. Be intentional about it and the fact you’re taking care of yourself because you need it. Send a clear message to yourself that you are worthy and deserving of time and space to yourself to rest and recuperate.

3. Recommit⠀
Think about what’s most important to you: Is it most important your kid does exactly what you say the moment you say it? Or is it more important that they are respected, have their own mind, that you’re connected, they feel unconditionally loved and worthy?

Reconnect with and recommit to your values, how you want to parent, how you want your household to feel and how you want your child to feel about themselves and your relationship. And start again.

If you found this helpful, join the Facebook Group: Working Women’s Club – less juggle, more flow

The Thrive Global Community welcomes voices from many spheres. We publish pieces written by outside contributors with a wide range of opinions, which don’t necessarily reflect our own. Learn more or join us as a community member!
Share your comments below. Please read our commenting guidelines before posting. If you have a concern about a comment, report it here.

You might also like...

Wisdom//

Guilt Can Actually Work in Your Favor

by Kimberly Fulcher
Community//

How to combat mum-guilt

by Charlotte Rogerson
Community//

Can becoming a mum mess with your mind?

by Rachel Smith

Sign up for the Thrive Global newsletter

Will be used in accordance with our privacy policy.

Thrive Global
People look for retreats for themselves, in the country, by the coast, or in the hills . . . There is nowhere that a person can find a more peaceful and trouble-free retreat than in his own mind. . . . So constantly give yourself this retreat, and renew yourself.

- MARCUS AURELIUS

We use cookies on our site to give you the best experience possible. By continuing to browse the site, you agree to this use. For more information on how we use cookies, see our Privacy Policy.