It’s easy to become obsessed with your diet, temperature, and ovulation schedule when you’re trying to get pregnant. But these things can actually exacerbate infertility. We often rely on outside people and things to tell us what’s going on in our body—and that’s part of the problem. As a society we’ve gotten so far away from our intuition and our connection with our bodies. Most of us are just driving our corpses around from our heads and are not dropped into our bodies. As a society we are conditioned to think that health care professionals and even family members know more about our bodies than we do. So we begin to grasp at these outside measures, hungry for confirmation and validation that we’re doing it correctly and being a good student. We think we’re being positive by taking every measure under the sun to move us toward this baby that we want so badly, but the exact opposite ends up happening and we can’t understand why.
Here’s why: Energy.
Energy is a grossly overlooked area in fertility. And yet, it’s made all the difference for my clients who’ve become pregnant. Getting back in touch with your intuition is key to maintaining positive energy and manifesting what you want. Like energy attracts like energy, according to the law of attraction. So if you’re constantly thinking and feeling: “I should be pregnant by now,” “It’s never going to happen,” or “I’m running out of time,” the universe answers with a match to where you’re at, so you will attract a desperate and lacking energy. It’s a viscous wheel spinning cycle that’s hard to pull out of. The universe doesn’t care what you SAY, it’s responding to the energy you’re putting out. So you can say, “I’m being positive and will make it happen” all you want, but if the undercurrent is, “Oh god, what if it doesn’t happen”; that’s what the Universe is responding to.
So what can you do about it?
1. These stressful thoughts are just that-thoughts. Thoughts can be changed; and your energy can be changed, too. Don’t try to jump from “It’s never going to happen” to “I’ll be pregnant this month.” You’ll expend too much energy trying to get there. Instead, take small steps forward (like noticing what’s going RIGHT in your life right now, and what you’re grateful for- write it down). Before you know it, you will have bridged the gap and will be working from a positive base more often.
2. If you’re a super planner or a Type A wonder woman: stop monitoring your ovulation sticks, temperature, cervical mucus, and your weight. Your body knows what to do and too many of us put our trust and validation outside of our bodies. Commit to one month of no outside monitoring and feel what your body is telling you. Listen for cues from your body; that’s when the magic happens. Many of my clients are now able to tell when they’re ovulating and when something is off. Close your eyes and breathe down into your body. Listen and know that everything is good.
3. Have a mantra that resonates for you. Mantras can get kind of an eye-roll sometimes, but here’s why they’re great: Even if you don’t fully feel or believe the mantra, the more and more you say it, the more and more it drops into your body. And thanks to the Law of Attraction, the more and more you put out something positive, the more the Universe has to answer with positive energy. So try mantras like:
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I trust you (to your body)
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My body and I are a team
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I deserve to be pregnant
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My body knows what to do to get pregnant
Get some post-its, write the mantra down, and paste it everywhere: in your car, on your laptop, on the fridge, on the medicine cabinet, on your end table, etc. Even when you stop noticing it, your energy will still register it, and that’s when things begin to shift. We move out of this desperate, “need” energy; into calm, forward moving energy.
No one will ever know your body better than you. Sometimes, you just need to get back in touch with it and remember that you’re in this together. You have everything you need.