The Truth About Beauty

For many of us what is holding us back from feeling beautiful has nothing to do with what’s actually in the mirror, it’s how we feel about ourselves.  And how we feel about ourselves can be a product of negative self-talk that we listen to that tells us, “I’m not good enough, pretty enough, smart […]

Thrive Global invites voices from many spheres to share their perspectives on our Community platform. Community stories are not commissioned by our editorial team, and opinions expressed by Community contributors do not reflect the opinions of Thrive Global or its employees. More information on our Community guidelines is available here.

For many of us what is holding us back from feeling beautiful has nothing to do with what’s actually in the mirror, it’s how we feel about ourselves.  And how we feel about ourselves can be a product of negative self-talk that we listen to that tells us, “I’m not good enough, pretty enough, smart enough or rich enough too!” The question is; where does this self-talk come from?

While it could be from someone outside of ourselves who we allowed to get into our heads, it is more commonly coming from our own minds as part of what is now being thought of as the “comparison trap.” The comparison trap stems from years of programming from a variety of places that might include images we see in the media, our up-bringing, friends or family members. It is debilitating to base our own self-worth on others rather than the strengths within ourselves.

A prime example, the other day I glanced over to a woman’s health magazine while in line at the grocery store and on the cover was a famous work out diva in a bikini. Although I had just finished a one-hour virtual work out that totally kicked my butt I looked at this cover and said to myself, “I will never look like that no matter how much I try.”

As a celebrity makeup artist and stylist who has worked on thousands of photo shoots I know the truth about what goes into creating the facade of perfection of that “perfect” image.

You see, the models don’t even look like the images we see in the media.  First, they go through hours of makeup and hair, get placed under perfect lighting and then the images are digitally enhanced.  The same goes for TV and Film.  Sadly, not everyone is privy to that emotionally soothing knowledge and it’s sad.

On top of that, the images of perfection aren’t just of people, we have perfect images of homes on HGTV, and food on cooking shows, and then we all have those social media images of people who are actually using filters and able to touch up their photos to remove so called flaws before they post. 

How are we ever going to feel good about our lives, families, jobs, our look or our bodies if we are comparing ourselves to other people?

Today, I have the honor of introducing you to my incredible friend, Emme, who is a powerful example of the beauty and strength it takes to rise above this “programming” we are all fighting.

You may know her from magazines, as a women’s advocate for positive body image and self-esteem, author, and sought-after national lecturer or appearances on Oprah, the Today Show, CNN and many more.  She did all that and was voted one of People magazines most “beautiful people” and she did all being true to who she is as a “plus-size” model!

Throughout her life and career, she has learned many lessons about what beauty should mean to each of us and when it comes down to it, what is truly important and how to focus on that.

Which leads to a question I have for you.  If you were suddenly diagnosed with a terrible disease or told that you only had days left here on Earth…would you really focus on how you looked or would you focus on being happy?  Why is it that we don’t see the beauty in our lives?  Why do we focus on what others have as our point of reference for happiness?

It’s time to stop comparing ourselves to others, let go of labeling ourselves by our size or possessions, and live our lives according to what really matters.

I want to leave you with one thought and that is to start filling your heart and mind with only positive thoughts about ourselves!  Write down what is right about you, your life, and how you look. 

What are your unique gifts and talents? 

That my friends, is the beginning of your Beauty Transformation! 

Let your light shine!

Share your comments below. Please read our commenting guidelines before posting. If you have a concern about a comment, report it here.

You might also like...

Well-Being//

Self-Compassion: The New Self-Esteem for Women

by Alexandra Jamieson
Community//

Amazing Tips on How to Build Self-Esteem

by Onuoha M. Thomas
10 Traits of Low Self-Esteem People
Community//

10 Traits of Low Self-Esteem People

by Kostas Papastathopoulos 1
We use cookies on our site to give you the best experience possible. By continuing to browse the site, you agree to this use. For more information on how we use cookies, see our Privacy Policy.