I’ve recently had conversation about loneliness and how it relates to spiritual growth.
All our lives we are conditioned to seek external validation to give us our sense of self-worth.
As children we were praised and rewarded for good behaviour leading us to recreate these behaviour patterns in order to get praise and feel good about ourselves.
This isn’t wrong. Children need to learn structure and behaviour but it is the start of a deep internal conditioning that keeps us looking outside of ourselves in order to gain approval from others that we’re doing, behaving and thinking the ‘right way’.
This continues through school, with good behaviours being recognised, following routine and order is instilled into us, standing out and being different is frowned upon.
Wear your uniform.
Choose fitting footwear.
Walk on the left.
Right down to being told how to wear your hair.
I had many a frank discussion with my daughters school about this. A top student who followed the rules, behaved impeccably and helped in the community was then put in isolation and punished for a blue streak in her otherwise totally conforming hairstyle (but that’s another story), it is just a perfect example of how conditioned we are not to stand out, not to express individuality, to keep small, not to be seen for fear of punishment. So we start squashing our spirit and our soul at a very young age. We finish school, get a job, live a life that we’ve been shown is the ‘correct’ way to live.
But then there’s a spark inside.
A tiny little burning flame in the centre of your soul screaming to be let out. But it’s covered in so many layers of conformity it can barely be heard.
But in the dead of night you hear it calling.
Once heard it begins to get louder.
You try to ignore it.
Add another layer to quiet it.
You over exude life and happiness in order to try to shut it up and kid yourself you’ve got everything you ever wanted and are perfectly happy.
Plaster that fake smile on. I can see it in your eyes!
Then the cracks begin to show.
You become discontent.
You start to see the world in a different light.
You look at loved ones like you’ve only just met them.
You struggle to fit in, but you try. You try really hard not to upset the status quo, but you know it’s no good now.
You are awakening.
As you start to look inwards you realise that is where your answers lie. That is where the truth is.
So you go it alone, and for a while and it works yeah?
You think you’ve got it under control but the pretence becomes too much.
In order to try to find a new balance you start with the people around you, you try to show yourself. You start to express thoughts previously kept under wraps.
You may be lucky and find the people closest to you light up with cries of “me too”! But most likely you’ll find yourself met with resistance.
The people closest to you don’t get it, you’re scaring them. You’re rocking their comfort zone and views on how we should be. So you withdraw.
It’s like you have a secret life on the inside, one that inspires, excites and scares you all at the same time.
You develop your own secret smile.
When you’re alone you’re happy. When you’re forced to confront your reality again it causes such conflict you feel sick.
This is where the lonely is.
You’re straddling two dimensions.
You’re awakening and entering the 5th dimension where light and energy, love and oneness exist, yet you’re still anchored in the three dimensional world where it’s important your net curtains are clean in case the neighbours judge!
This loneliness is transitory.
You’ve opened a door to a new world where anything is possible and miracles happen.
You’re eager to explore yet scared to death because reality as you know it has been blown away.
Material things you once coveted become meaningless.
At this stage in your journey you will be forced to make some tough decisions.
Who to leave behind and who to take with you?
What deep seated beliefs and values do you need to let go of?
To let go of everything you thought you knew about living life and putting your trust in the unseen forces of the universe.
To follow your intuition even when the road ahead is unclear and uncertain.
Trusting that everything happens for a reason and you are the master of your own destiny.
Trusting that your soul and spirit know what they’re doing and the universe will listen and provide for you exactly what you need when you need it.
As you let go of things, situations, people and thoughts you will begin to make room for the magic.
Synchronicities will become common place.
People will appear.
Signs will be shown.
Through this dark lonely road you’ve found yourself on a glimmer of light will appear.
Don’t give up.
Shedding layers and morphing into a new you, only it’s not new is it? It was you all along, just hidden deep deep down, you’re emerging from a life that you thought you knew into one of truth and love and light.
Don’t be hard on yourself during this period, let it happen.
A river journeying from source to sea doesn’t stop flowing when it reaches the underground caverns where no one can see it, it continues its journey knowing it’s just a journey.
During this time rest a lot. Be gentle with yourself, walk, read, listen to soft music, avoid conflict just let yourself be.
Gather your crystals, diffuse your oils. It too shall pass.
Don’t fight it, dance with it.
Dance with your beautiful, amazing, powerful, quirky self.
You, and the universe have this!
Originally published at www.kerrydavey.com