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In Silence, Wisdom peaks

What I learned over the past 35 Days of COVID Quarantine

I would like to invite you to think back to that moment in time last year when you were focused on something you really wanted to do, but were questioning the worthiness of your decision to go for it. Maybe you were thinking about going on vacation, taking the day off to spend time with your family; visiting a yoga festival or Burning Man, or simply visiting friends in New Jersey for the weekend.  Now, imagine that you didn’t do, what I call, a “soul calling action”, and instead, you put it on hold for a ‘better day’… and now here we are in quarantine.

Like many of you, being in quarantine, has given me an opportunity to reflect on what I was doing, or thinking about doing this time last year. I remember debating with myself about whether or not I should take a trip to New Mexico for the Summer Solstice. Things at work were starting to pile up and deadlines were fast approaching.  I was definitely feeling the pressure. I almost put the trip off for another year, but in the end, I did go to New Mexico and am grateful that I did. 

Last year at this time, I was also contemplating taking a trip to Kazakhstan to visit my parents. As I was working through the decision to go or not, I also needed to decide if it was going for a two or three-day stopover in Moscow. I ended up choosing three days.  I’m thankful that I went, despite the fact that there was a shortage of time, trip cost considerations and massive pressing work deadlines. As a trade-off, I took work with me, and was able to enjoy Moscow too.  

In addition to planning for the two trips, I had also received an invitation to attend a friend’s wedding. I was trying to talk myself out of going to the wedding because the wedding venue was in Long Island and I live in New York City. I had to ask myself, should I skip the wedding? How would that be with my friends who ended up going to the wedding?  I did choose to go.  

How about you?  How many times did you go back and forth on a decision?  Did you put anything off until “later”?  

Enter COVID 19 times.  The idea of not visiting my family this year makes me very sad. It makes me even more grateful that I made the decision to go to see my parent this past summer so I could visit them and enjoy my three-day stopover in Moscow. Going to Pushkin Gallery, spending time with my niece, celebrating the marriage of great friends at the wedding and successfully tackling the use of the Long Island Railroad, were all things I would have missed out on had I lost the debate with myself and put them off for one reason or another. I realize now that last year I covered a lot of soul calling items that I will not be able to make happen this year as a result of COVID.. 

Having this time over the past 35 days to be reflective, makes me realize how I get to live my life.  I get to choose.  I am responsible for my decisions and for making my life happen.  This is the most profound discovery that I’ve had over the past 35 days, primarily because I had so much quiet time to reflect. My life is happening now, not tomorrow – not next year.  This life I am living is not to be a dress rehearsal for something else – there is simply NO other year. Most importantly, there is nothing to worry about when you are taking an action.  It’s also gratifying to feel joy from the action itself. 

I also realized over this past 35 days that I do not need anyone’s permission to do what I want or to connect with someone I haven’t talked to in a while.  I get to tap into my own vulnerability and joy and make a point to reach out to people I love.  There might not be another year, we might not have another 5 mins together. Especially those people, who might be sitting in your heart and your soul longing to connect with.  I will also add that because of my ego I tend to not show feelings and emotions and I’m terrified of being judged.  Do you have similar experiences?

I also realized that I get to act with urgency and leave procrastination behind, taking baby steps towards my soul calling items. Without urgency and committed actions, the mind will start to foster various fearful possibilities, which are almost 100% fabricated. Fear of failure itself can be so paralyzing that the first simple step can get missed. 

A few other thoughts as I conclude.  Lack of time and/or lack of money are often great excuses that the ego uses to effectively keep us from doing what we love and want to do.  I realize I put my dreams or actions on hold for various reasons.  I am committing to not doing that.  Something else worth mentioning is the power of making a declaration.  I believe that when I declare certain things to happen in my life, the circumstances are created to overcome them.  I have been practicing that and have shown myself that when I do whatever it takes and I am committed to something, the circumstances would fall into place: I would get support from my manager, the deadlines got extended or money would come unexpectedly. I still haven’t figured out this magic with the personal relationships, or maybe I am not very committed yet myself. It will be magical when the commitment is there. 

In conclusion, think of your life as if there truly is no tomorrow, listen to your soul calls, commit to the actions and act with urgency.  Your commitment will create perfect circumstances to attract time, money, a soulmate or anything else your soul calls for in that moment. 

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