How Comfort Can Destroy Your Marriage

It’s easy to take our partners for granted. Often, too easy.

Walking by each other without a touch, a peck on the cheek instead of a sustained kiss, passing without eye contact for days, or any other low energy actions we take.

When you value comfort instead of growth in your relationship, it’s easy to get bored and frustrated. And both boredom and frustration are not the foundation of a thriving and fulfilling relationship.

The bridge between comfort and growth is unobstructed love.

 
In contrast to comfort, there is real growth. A relationship growing through a more profound love.

We can sense and recognize when someone is genuinely in tune, connected, considerate, and warm. We can feel a genuine surrender and access more courage.

You’ll notice how you distribute your love when done through a connected flow and being, be it a soft touch, a sweet note, a poised open posture, an expanded breath, or an energetic smile.

This type of expression forces us wildly outside the comfort zone of everyday life, and force us to slow ourselves to a pace that is less of the ordinary and more of the extraordinary.

For the masculine energy, it may be holding a space of deep and profound presence. For the feminine energy, a place of vulnerable surrender. Either way, both partners feel the love penetrate each other. It takes effort, attentiveness, and a new level of conscientiousness.

When you are ready to step outside the comfort zone and grow, here are three steps you can take to make a massive impact to transcend your current level of relationship.

Grow Your Vision

If you are frustrated with your current level of success, love, and intimacy – it’s time to expand into a more compelling vision for your relationship. You’ve most likely outgrown your previous ideas and actions, and you are ready for something more authentic, refined, more meaningful or a vision that matches more of who you are right now.

Trying to be a spouse with the same views you had when you first got married, is a recipe for frustration. You’ve matured, outgrown previously held ideas, and are ready for new actions or desire more depth.

If you are considering it, your partner is likely in the same boat. Sit with each other and discuss what a new vision for your relationship could look like, and then work together to grow your vision.

As your view deepens, this also means your identity is going to change. Change can be extremely uncomfortable, as your mind will do everything it can to defend its current integrity of who you are, and this is where the difficulty lies.

If you want to be a more loving partner, you will have to double down on how much you listen, what you bring to the intimacy table, how you express your emotions and communicate, and how you meet their needs.

Your everyday actions will need to align with your new vision – this takes discipline and focuses on rewiring yourself to a new standard.

Take More Action 

To transform your vision into a reality and to change your identity into someone you want to experience, requires massive repetition.

The only way to change the brain and body is through repetition of thought and daily action. You accomplish this change through daily visualization.

Let’s say you want to be more affectionate. So you rehearse in your mind how you will open your arms when you come home from work, or how you will spend time together when your habit is to turn on the t.v. This is one way to achieve a new identity and vision.

Take five minutes every morning and evening to sit quietly and see yourself taking new actions and behaving the way you envision.

The second way is to take physical actions in real time. If you want to write love notes regularly – write one today – rather than waiting for a holiday or birthday.Take conscious steps both mentally and physically to start to create a new identity, one that is destined for growth and transformation.

Take the leap and build your wings on the way down.

Sometimes, life calls us to grow. And that means getting uncomfortable.

The only path to freedom is to leave the old identity behind – the old illusions of comfort – and strive toward progress.

Feel the freedom of the road ahead, getting out from behind the curtain of comfort. Move toward the next authentic step of your evolution. You and your partner are both waiting for something that is more evolved, deeper and more authentic.

Go for it.