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Halloween

The Masks We Wear

Pre-Mask Era: Working On My Bed (!)

The Harvard Mask

“Everyone studies here 24/7. Like in the library…” I lamented to my therapist. “Kyla, do you want to study at the library 24/7?” she asked neutrally.

“No…well, it’s too quiet in there. I prefer studying on my bed…” Something I began doing at a young age and still do to this day.

“Ok, so if you don’t want to study like them, why do you think you keep comparing yourself WITH them?”

The Bully Mask

From the Trumps and the Kavanaughs to the workplace bullies, adult bullying is rampant and invisible-ized/normalized globally. As someone who has overcome workplace bullying, I can deeply empathize WITH those who have not been able to speak out about it.

When I did actually confront one of my work bullies who happened to also be a father of two daughters, he had no idea he was making me feel bad. I thought to myself not just about him but about other bullies, what if they just take their masks off, would they still be bullies?

The Actor’s/Actress’ Mask

When I initially found out just how much certain Hollywood actors and actresses make, I was shocked. It’s not to say that hard work should go unrewarded, but that we as a society, value and reward those who master the art of being someone else other than themselves. There are even prestigious award ceremonies like the Golden Globes to recognize such feats.

Society’s Mask

I think we all walk around with masks on. It could be the “I’m ok” mask, or the “Make up” mask, or the “Perfectionist” mask. Nobody really leaves the house without some kind of mask on which might actually reveal what’s going on inside.

After one of my Happiness Workshops in Seoul during the summer, there was a line of people who wanted to speak WITH me WITHout their masks on:

“I am a rape survivor.”

“I have PTSD from surviving a car accident.”

“My father passed away recently.”

What we know from sharing something is that it creates not just an emotional unburdening but a physical one as well. In that brief moment, when they took off their masks, I could see how truly relieved those participants really were.

The Social Media Mask

In a recent conversation WITH my bootcamp instructor, when discussing what to post on Facebook, she asked herself almost out loud this question that has stuck WITH me, “Sometimes I have to ask myself: WHY am I posting on Facebook? Is it for my own glory? To talk myself up? Or is it really because I want to share stuff WITH friends and family back home?”

Trick or Treat?

On a Halloween Party Evite, it read “Prizes for best costumes.” It got me thinking:

Is Halloween that different from everyday life? We reward people for the best costumes and MASKS with candy and other prizes.

What if we took the time to work on ourselves WITH ourselves? Halloween could then be the only time of year when we actually wore a mask.

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People look for retreats for themselves, in the country, by the coast, or in the hills . . . There is nowhere that a person can find a more peaceful and trouble-free retreat than in his own mind. . . . So constantly give yourself this retreat, and renew yourself.

- MARCUS AURELIUS

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