At some point of time, nearly all of us have experienced the feeling of rejection – when love is not reciprocated. Every one of us wishes to feel valued, cherished, and taken care of. It boosts our self esteem and makes us feel good about ourselves. But, lets say, if love is not returned back- what should we do at such moments? Should we dig more, or stop looking for?
The answer is never easy and not always the one that we like to hear. But if something is making us miserable and not a happy person that we deserve to be – then we should opt out of it and stop looking for love and acceptance. If something is making our lives miserable then its time to stop looking for it, specially – love and affection.
‘We should not look for love – not just at the wrong places, but – not at any place at all’.
Expectation make us unhappy and worn out; when they are not fulfilled .
Running after something is tiresome, and exhausting and viciously draining.
Wanderer and searchers are never at rest- as they are always wanting.
To be at peace – we have to stop searching, running after, and expecting.
The moment we stop looking for love, we become relaxed and calmer.
Embrace the Exceptions, And Do NOT Look for Love
>> A mother should love her child. But, if she does not – let it be, do not look for love!
>> A spouse should be a loving partner, but if they are not – let it be, do not look for love!
>> A father should be a protector, but, if he is not- let it be, do not look for love!
>> A sibling should be a good friend, but if they are not- let it be, do not look for love!
How To End The Vicious Cycle:
The do’s:
1) Either we should accept the situation for what it is or leave it – as it is.
2) Expecting love will make our lives more miserable than – it actually is.
3) The moment we start accepting the reality and stop expecting it to change – we are at peace.
4) Thats what we are all looking for, and thats what we destroying ourselves – by running after.
5) If something is meant to be, it will be. If not – let it be.
The don’ts
1) Wait around.
2) Expect always.
3) Pray continuously.
4) Look for change.
5) Search for something better.
All of the above, triggers negative energy and does the complete opposite of what we are looking for.
It makes us more miserable and in return and sends us back to the place that we were initially trying to escape from – being unloved.
By Changing Perspective, We Can Change the Outlook
>> There is a difference in ‘being alone’ and feeling lonely.
>> If we are lonely we could instead chose to be – alone and aloof.
>> By changing our perspectives we could magically change the outlook.
>> The shortcomings could be viewed as uniqueness and used as an advantage.
>> Loneliness is destined but aloofness is a choice. If we are lonely we could chose to be inspiring and alone and not – lonely and miserable.
Things to Understands and Accept
>> We never had control over other persons emotions – and will never have.
>> We cannot force anyone to feel a certain way for us – period.
>> The only person we have a control over – is our own selves.
The moment we accept our situations, we can find a fix to it or learn to live with it; rather than sitting around and waiting around for a better tomorrow to come. Which may or may not come or come very late in life. Till then we cannot sit and wait. It would increase the misery and pain – nothing more.
If we indulge into self pity, we will give an open invitation to ‘desperation which is often acompanied by its sister emotion ‘frustration.
Desperation and frustration goes hand in hand. It fuels the negative energy and our aura becomes that of a needy, clingy person that everyone wishes to avoid.
There are two ways to look at the single status.
Single and miserable.
Single and desirable.
What happens when we stop looking for love:
>> When we stop looking, we make peace with our current status.
>> Unknowingly, we start to radiate positivity around us and become more desirable.
>> Ironically, we become an inspiration for others, not even knowing it.
The situation is the same – we were alone, but the treatment was different. Cribbing has never been helpful, and will never be. Asking questions like why me? Will never give the answers we are looking for.
We are NOT the Same:
>> The problems that a beautiful girl living at the other end of the road faces on a daily basis – we are not aware of!
>> The problems that famous celebrities whom we watch on television face in their lives behind the camera – we are not aware of!
>> The problems that our superiors at work face back home – we are not aware of!
>> The problems that a seemingly happy family hides behind the closed doors – we are not aware of!
When our sufferings could not be the same – why do we expect our happiness to be the same? Comparison is an open invitation to feel miserable.
Our outlook decides – if we are going to end up being miserable or being inspirational.
Every challenging situation is a call to step out of our comfort zones. Great stories stem from challenging lives.
Author – Preeti Singh (Homepage)
Her books are available on Amazon.
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Originally published at themindfulnessmission.wordpress.com