Community//

At the Bottom of the Binge: an Inquiry

I wonder, what is at the bottom of my binge? Not on Cheat Day or Birthday or Holiday but the day-to-day desire to eat whatever I want, whenever I want it. What would happen if the binge was my regular way of eating? Would my body ever say, no thanks, I’m good? Would my body […]

I wonder, what is at the bottom of my binge?

Not on Cheat Day or Birthday or Holiday but the day-to-day desire to eat whatever I want, whenever I want it.

What would happen if the binge was my regular way of eating?

Would my body ever say, no thanks, I’m good?

Would my body ever say, ‘Hey, could we go out for a walk now?’

Would my body ever crave a salad over a cookie? A green juice over roasted potatoes?

Would I walk past the chips in the pantry?

Can I have just one?

Can I look like this for the rest of my life? Can I love myself regardless of how I look?

Can I gain twenty pounds and still love the way I look? Can I gain forty pounds and still love the way I look? What about sixty? What is my number?

How much leeway does my body have to expand?

How much room do I have for my body? For my imperfections? For life’s surprises? For all I can’t control? 

Is there anyone else I am trying to control because I think they cannot control themselves?

Am I willing to give up on my health for my sanity? Is it possible that giving up on the insanity will bring me more health? 

Can I stop judging my body? Can I stop comparing myself to how I used to look? Can I buy myself jeans that fit comfortably today (and bra and bathing suit and anything else my body needs to look and feel good in this moment)?

Can I take the skinny picture off my fridge and the skinny jeans out of my closet and the skinny future me out of my mind?

Can I stop speaking about how I was and how I will be, all the while dismissing who I am right now?

Can I stop speaking about myself as if I am broken or malfunctioning?

Can I get my nose out of my kids’ plates and trust them to eat what’s right for them? For what they need, for what they are figuring out, for what their bodies are craving?

Can I trust my own body’s cravings?

Can I trust that there is an end to my body’s cravings? A bottom to that binge? Can I trust myself to get to that bottom? And if not, can I trust myself to feel what happens when I consider going there?

Can I trust that those feelings are harsh and old and mean and possibly (probably) someone else’s and not my own? And possibly (probably) inaccurate?

Can I trust my nature? My wisdom, my brilliance, my intuition? Can I let go and see what happens?

Can I do it for a week, a month, a year? How long can I give myself in this inquiry?

How long do I have to unravel the mystery of what lies at the bottom of my binge?

I wonder.

The Thrive Global Community welcomes voices from many spheres. We publish pieces written by outside contributors with a wide range of opinions, which don’t necessarily reflect our own. Learn more or join us as a community member!
Share your comments below. Please read our commenting guidelines before posting. If you have a concern about a comment, report it here.

You might also like...

Wisdom//

Turning Self Loathing Into Self Love

by Bev Short
Community//

12 essential tips to stop binge eating for good

by Maria Marklove
Community//

“Don’t Promote Or Expect Perfectionism Or Make Your Client Feel They Have Let You Or Themselves Down.” With Bianca L. Rodriguez and Natasha Leigh Bray

by Bianca L. Rodriguez, Ed.M, LMFT

Sign up for the Thrive Global newsletter

Will be used in accordance with our privacy policy.

Thrive Global
People look for retreats for themselves, in the country, by the coast, or in the hills . . . There is nowhere that a person can find a more peaceful and trouble-free retreat than in his own mind. . . . So constantly give yourself this retreat, and renew yourself.

- MARCUS AURELIUS

We use cookies on our site to give you the best experience possible. By continuing to browse the site, you agree to this use. For more information on how we use cookies, see our Privacy Policy.