Fact: You know how old you are.
Fact: You actually don’t care that much, but the rest of the world seems to.
Ok you care, but only because we live in a world pre-occupied with age and making women feel terrible about getting older.
And by that I mean looking older.
You hate it when your favourite actresses get relegated to grandma roles.
You hate it even more when they show up on TV facially stretched, or with plump, shiny skin that’s full of something you’d rather not think about.
You don’t feel old because you’re still rockin’ your activewear and eyeing up the occasional stiletto, but the injectables are getting harder to ignore.
So this is a finger in the face of the age police.
This is sassy self-preservation: a cheeky guide to cheating and beating the system (because that’s what’s really out of date here!)
Do these anti-aging secrets work?
I’m always told I look six to eight years younger than I am (and that’s without any surgery or botox) — good enough?
What Youthful Midlife Women Know
Anti-aging is about so much more than what you put on your face or how deeply you micro-needle.
It’s about changing the way you treat yourself.
Think for a moment of a woman you know who regularly passes for younger than her years and exudes vitality and fun.
The chances are…
a) she knows these secrets
b) she knows a good cosmetic surgeon.
You have control over the way you age and it’s not just about what you do to your skin. Skip the surgery and knock years off, painlessly, with these secrets.
Anti-Aging Secret No 1: Stop Associating Yourself With A Number
Like right now.
I mean it.
Dr Christiane Northrup, author of Ageless Goddess and all round guru on women’s health, states research shows that if you THINK you’re a certain age, or even aging in general, your body will follow through.
In my book, Rebuild Your Health Reclaim Your Life, I write about how your subconscious mind has no sense of humour. So, for example, if you say, or even think,
“I’m 45 and I look so old”
“My skin is so saggy”
Your subconscious mind takes your order, hands it to your cells and replies, “Coming right up.”
Seriously. Stop identifying with a particular age, era, or how you think 48 looks.
Unless it’s like J Lo 😉
Numbers only have meaning if you give them meaning.
Anti-Aging Secret No 2: Re-position Your Children
I had a boss who repeatedly guessed my age and then asked me this question:
“So, uh, how old are your kids?”
Don’t you love it when people open the age box and try to put you inside?
They’re trying to figure out how to treat you, how much to pay you or what they think you’re capable of.
You can see the cogs whirring as their brain says,
“She can’t be that old, she looks too good, maybe she’s a threat…”
Limited thinking overload.
It’s their sh*t, but here’s how to deal with it.
And pssst…this can be quite entertaining.
Learn to talk in generalities:
When you feel that age box opening and someone asks about your kids ages, say,
“I have teenagers.”
“I have big kids.”
And if they start doing the maths in their head, try:
“I was a child bride”
“I feel like they were 8 and 10 just yesterday.”
If it’s a work or interview situation, re-direct them with:
“Oh you have a bring a child to work day?”
And for persistent offenders:
“Sorry that’s my phone and it could be my ovaries calling.”
Photo by Velizar Ivanov on Unsplash
Anti-Aging Secret No 3: Re-Birth Yourself
This is easier than it sounds. No womb required.
First take your date of birth off everything.
I repeat, EVERYTHING.
Your CV, your FB account, your gym membership.
An employer has no right to ask you for this information so consider it as protecting your privacy or a basic self-preservation measure.
Now decide on a new birth year for yourself. I recommend taking off 5–8 years to start as this will feel quite believable for you, and what the mind believes, the body can achieve!
Use your new date of birth for any organisation that requires it and remember to be consistent so you don’t end up locked out of your FB account.
Ta- Da you have been re-born!
It’s not about protecting your privacy, it’s sassy self-preservation. You can literally think yourself younger.
Note: Don’t use your re-birth date on any legal documents. Court cases are unbelievably aging 😉
Anti-Aging Secret No 4: Play By The New Rules
Everything you’ve been told about what a woman over forty should wear comes from the media, or your mother.
You know it’s total BS but it’s also cultural conditioning so you have to make a conscious effort to re-programme.
Here are the new rules.
There are no rules.
Just look at J Lo’s barely there, sheer creations, Madonna’s…well, everything, and all those fabulous mums who rock up to school in pyjama’s and Laboutins.
The only semi-rule is don’t try and look like a twenty something (especially if you’re sleeping with one.)
Stick with quality cuts and fabric. If it feels cheap and gives everyone you touch a taser-like electric shock, leave it on the rail.
Start with a colour consultation so you know what flatters your skin tone and then, if you love thigh high slits, feel sexy in bodycon, mesh and the occasional sparkly number, go for it.
Feeling sexy keeps you young and sexy begins in the brain, so slip out of your old routine into a slinky new mindset about your body.
Regardless of what you wear, every single day create something sexy about it and enjoy it. Allow yourself to feel feminine.
Dress for YOU.
Feel sexy for you, IN your body, WITH your body.
Top Anti-Aging Tip
Book a consultation with a stylist and give her your Re-Birth date.
Anti-Aging Secret No 5: Get Anti-Aging Friends
Photo by Though Catalog on Unsplash
It’s natural to hang out with friends of a similar age, but your peers are likely to bring up the same issues, topics of conversation and cultural references, because you’re all at the same life-stage.
These date them and YOU!
You don’t need to ditch them but mix it up by spending time with a broader range of people across a wider age group.
Expand your horizons and find new social groups through hobbies or sport.
At work make more effort with millenials.
At home really listen to your kids’ views.
Don’t be afraid to socialise with people older than you if they’re young at heart. You want to discover what keeps them young!
Broadening your mind makes you feel and act younger.
Volunteer for a young person’s charity. Listen to a little of what they’re listening to, watch what they watch once in a while and notice how you stop automatically falling into an age bracket or demographic.
Get off the age grid.
Anti-Aging Secret No 6: Vamp Up Your Vocabulary
Whether you realise it or not, words date you.
Right now you’re using expressions and descriptions that pinpoint you within a generation.
Like the way you say O Levels instead of GCSEs
If you don’t think you do this, try having a convo with your kids (see what I did there?!) and watch for when they sigh and roll their eyes. That’s you doing it.
Ask them how they would have said it instead…if they haven’t already corrected you.
(Anyone remember doing this to their parents???)
Think back to the last time you worked in an office or group environment. Remember that jargon you had to learn to know what everyone else was talking about?
Now it’s time to learn some new jargon…not to be totally down with the kids 24/7 but so that you can gently blur the lines between generations.
A few words here and there will update your languaging and do wonders for your parent — child communication.
This is actually kinda fun so don’t make it a chore (chores are aging,) simply listen for modern equivalents of words or expressions you currently use and gradually make the switch.
Eventually it will become second nature.
Don’t believe me? Think back to the first week with your iphone…torture right?
Top Anti-Aging Tip
Avoid at all costs,
“When I was young”
“In my day”
and whatever happens…and I do mean, even in the event of a nuclear attack, do not make statements like,
“I don’t understand Social Media.”
Anti-Aging Secret No 7: Love Is the Answer…But Not How You Think
Photo by Mandy Von Stahl on Unsplash
Love the most powerful force on our planet.
Anti-everything that isn’t love.
When you’re in love, you lighten up. You’re energised, alive and youthful. Colours seem more vivid, song lyrics more profound, orgasms deeper and food richer.
You experience pleasure everywhere, you don’t sweat the small stuff, you enjoy life and it shows in your face and your body.
So why the hell are you throwing that away on someone else?
A broken heart can be the most aging experience on the planet, so before you dive into that…
Here’s what I recommend first:
Instead of projecting all that raw emotion onto another human being, fall in love with something more reliable:
Music, travel, beauty, art, personal development, your own creative expression or best of all, YOU
You are worthy, trust me.
If it seems a little indulgent to love yourself — listen up — that’s an old belief that’s aging you!
This is the age of Aquarius, the rise of the feminine and the brave new world of pussy power. It’s time to get on the self-love train and enjoy a free facelift from the universe.
The Only Person Aging You is YOU
This is a matter of mind over wrinkles.
The best way to knock years off isn’t surgery, it’s to start dismantling your old way of thinking…one agist brick at a time.
Stop groaning when you get up, just get up!
Stop expecting things to ache, sag or droop and start looking after yourself.
Do what you FEEL like doing not what you THINK you should do, or what other people TELL you is appropriate.
What do they know? They’re old!
Make a conscious decision that you will not be defined by a demographic. Choose self-love and self-preservation and lean into living longer, looking younger and feeling fabulous.
Own your evolution.
You are an ageless goddess, IF you decide to be. Fact.
Thank you for reading and sharing 🙂 To get more fabulous tips in my Free Ebook – The Little Book Of Sassy Self-Preservation, Click Here