If you’re anything like me, then you have lived your life in times of extreme joy and happiness, and other times where you are scared and uncertain because you don’t know what’s next. This is only normal after all, we are humans, and humans have a need for certainty. However, the problem with this need is that we end up getting overly stressed, anxious, and ultimately live our lives in fear because of the “what if’s” that could happen.
The great news is that it is entirely possible to change your state, your emotional meaning, and to step out of fear and into living a courageous life by the time you finish reading this article.
I share this with you as over the past year I have been living a life that has taken enormous courage. I’ve experienced what it’s like to step deep into my fears and face them head-on, dealing with all the scary and frustrating emotions that come up. And do you know what happened from doing this? Life became better than I could have ever imagined. The terrifying fears I had challenged me to live a life that has led to immense beauty; it’s taught me to be vulnerable, ask for help, and learn to receive. Having seen what this is like, it’s time to share what I learned in order to help you live your best life.
No matter where you are, the steps below will help you. I encourage you to get out a pen and piece of paper, jot down ideas, answer each question and see how your life can be transformed with these simple steps.
5 Ways to stop living in fear & start living a courageous life
1. Ask yourself “what else could this mean?”. When things don’t go as planned it puts us in a state of anxiety because of the expectations we hold. The simplest way to get out of our expectations (and ultimately judgments) is to ask yourself the question above. Write down all the positive things that could be happening as a result of this uncertainty. For example, if you got stuck in traffic and missed a big meeting, ask yourself: by missing this meeting, what else could it mean. I.E. what was the positive reason that I might not yet see that this happened?
2. Play the “What if” game. This will help you to get to the root cause of what you are actually fearful about. It’s through knowledge that we can take action to make a change (and to see how silly our deepest fears actually are). Whatever your fear, write it down the draw an arrow with the words ‘what then/ then what would happen?’. For example: if your fear is to lose your job write that down, then say ‘what then’ if you lost your job. Write then answer and with another arrow and the words ‘what then’ answer that question. Keep going until you uncover what the real fear is.
3. Get grateful. The quickest way to get yourself out of a state of fear, anxiety, or stress is to write down 5-10 things you are grateful for right now, at this moment. They can be big or small. Like the sunshine that hit your face to your husband or wife being next to you. Repeat this every day for a week and see how you feel. We cannot simultaneously live in anger or fear and gratitude, so get grateful and see how your stress disappears.
4. Learn to ask for help. Being courageous takes vulnerability, and this means you have to ask those around you for help. We often feel that we can’t, or it will make us look weak. It’s actually the opposite – and that when you don’t ask, you are taking away the opportunity for someone else to give love. People want to help others, we are hardwired to do this, and when you show up with this courage, it immediately takes you out of a state of fear and into a state of love and receiving.
5. Get ready to receive (The Art of Receiving). After you’ve done the above steps, be open to whatever comes, otherwise known as The Art of Receiving, as I’ve named it. It takes patience and huge amounts of trust that everything is working out exactly as it’s meant. You might not get the help in the ways you expected or want, but the universe will deliver what you need. This is the most courageous step of them all, but the more you have faith that it’s unfolding as it’s meant and stay positive in the process, you will see your fears become nothing more than a random thought that comes and goes. You will start living your life through excitement instead of stress.
Remember, life is always happening FOR YOU, not to you. You get to pick and choose the meaning of your own life. This includes how you react to things and the easiest way to change your reactions is to get grateful. The quicker you start to believe and trust that everything is happening exactly as it’s meant, the sooner you will be able to live in a beautiful state, where courage is the prevailing force.
If you want to learn more about stepping into courage or get in touch with me, please send me an email at [email protected]. I’d also love to know the biggest stories about living a life of courage so send them my way.
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