On the day of love, it’s easy to focus on the relationships that surround us and give them acknowledgment and appreciation, but are you missing someone?
You buy chocolates and flowers for your partner or spouse.
You shower your kids, nieces, and nephews with heart-shaped cinnamon heart candies.
You send a card or text to your friends, sharing your heart with them.
But are you missing someone?
The most important relationship you’ll ever have is with yourself.
Based on the 5 Cs of Friendship in the book Show Up Confident, a guide for assessing and developing supportive relationships with the people around you, here are five ways you can support the relationship with yourself on the day of love and every day.
CHEER yourself on
Learning to celebrate your wins big and small is a powerful confidence-building practice. Think of the cheering section of your favorite sports team. Practicing getting that excited when you pass a personal milestone creates results that help you grow as a person or choose what makes you the happiest.
Adopt a celebration routine that helps you consistently mark a win in your life. Try an in-the-moment winning gesture (think of a fist pump), a kitchen dance party, or use a cheerleader’s pom-pom to mark the moment. Do it for each win and watch the belief in yourself soar.
CHAMPION your purpose
Believing that your contribution matters is a crucial factor to lasting motivation. A champion believes in you, your abilities, and the change you want to make with your uniqueness and purpose. You can be a champion of yourself by defining the difference you are on the planet to make.
This ability to champion yourself starts with introspection and turns to excitement when you discover your Meaningful Outcome. More straightforward than the big word of “purpose,” and explained in Show up Confident, your Meaningful Outcome does four things for yourself and others:
- Creates happiness
- Produces a lasting transformation
- Fosters confidence
- Helps others find joy
Crystallize how you do these with how you live your life daily and act from them, and you’ll become your own Champion. Champions and Cheerleaders work together to help the world know how great you are while you start and continue to believe it for yourself.
CHECK-IN with yourself
Everyone needs to know they are important and cared for and while we look for others to check in on us to understand that they care, checking in on yourself is just as important.
“When the world is loud, create your own peace.”Michele Charles Gustafson
Right now, the world is loud, uncertain, and restless, be a best friend to yourself and take moments daily to ask yourself, “Are you ok.” Then give yourself space to respond.
Start or expand a mindfulness practice the can include breathing breaks, journal-writing, artistic play dates, or simple out-loud “talking to yourself” conversations. These quick but intentional moments strengthen the relationship with yourself over time.
CHALLENGE your comfort zone
Your growth is always on the other side of your comfort zone, and while you may want to save yourself any discomfort or fear of change, it’s only when you challenge your thoughts and beliefs around change that you actually create new success.
Think about the last win you celebrated. Notice how on some level, big or small, you needed to move past what was comfortable. The most supportive relationships outside yourself are excited for you to be the best version of yourself and ask you the tough questions that help you get closer to your Meaningful Outcome. You can do this for yourself too. Challenge yourself.
The most important “C” of all is this one. If you don’t have this one, you feel like something is missing in the relationship with yourself, you may feel disconnected from yourself, or you may find yourself feeling at the whim of the outside world. In Chapter 12 I share:
“To cherish means to hold something sacred or special; to know that if it were gone from your life you would miss it dearly, deeply, emotionally, and longingly—that you would grieve it. To cherish something means you hold deep love for it where there is no envy, or comparison…”
Finding this place of “cherish” develops when you can do all of the other 4 Cs. You can see your value, appreciate how you are changing, see yourself as who you are becoming and step out courageously to share it. Want to learn to cherish yourself? Today, take some time to develop and practice cheering yourself on, championing your purpose, checking in with yourself, and challenging your comfort zone, and you’ll be on your way.
On the day of love, as you appreciate all of the relationships around you, don’t forget to spend some time with yourself, nurturing the one relationship that will never leave you. It’s the most important and the most valuable of all. Cherish the relationship you have with yourself.