My Christmas gift to you and yours
The mornings never stop coming. The sun doesn’t stop rising so the night has no choice but to be consistent as well.
The morning and night made a promise to come and go each day whether one is there to experience them or not.
I’m sitting at home a week after my exams ended, thinking what is it that am going to do with myself now.
Do I go somewhere?
Do I do something enjoyable?
Is there something that needs my attention now that I have some time on my hands to adventure into something other than my formal education?
I’ve always enjoyed writing. I find writing to be very therapeutic and conversational. I feel like I’m always allowing people into my thoughts every time I post an article.
I feel like I’m letting people in.
I feel like I’m being as transparent about my thoughts and views as I can be.
I ask myself sometimes if that really is enough.
I’m a thinker at best. I spend a lot of time in my thoughts because it gives me the opportunity to view things my way and also think about why people view things the way they do.
I once told someone that if they were to know what is in my head, they will go crazy.
At times I ask myself why I am the way I am. I wonder why God made me the way I am and gave me such a mind.
The thoughts I think have the potential to change the world but sometimes I feel like they are detrimental to humanity. The more I try to figure out why I have such a mind the less I understand it.
I’ve spent most of my life being a certain kind of way. I have had my up and down moments just as everyone has.
I had to learn how to be authentic.
I had to learn and discover who I really was and who I see myself becoming in the near future.
I’ve come to know myself and the potential I hold, but does my family know?
Do they know what is going on in my life right now?
Do they see a change happening to the way I am living my life and who I’m becoming?
Are they actually interested in what I do and where I want to go in life?
The answer to most if not all the questions is maybe.
Maybe they are afraid to confront the person I am. Maybe they are afraid to be transparent and vulnerable with me.
Now the question is what is it that I’m willing to do about that pressing issue? Honestly I don’t know right now. I have tried my best to be transparent and vulnerable, but it doesn’t make that much difference.
What do I want for Christmas? Take a wild guess.
Right now let me focus on finding place to spend my holidays and what I should do in that time.
This was a vulnerable time in my life. I dug deep inside what I was feeling and what I needed in my life. It took a lot of courage to be as open as I was. I hope people can express the same vulnerability more often in their lives.
Originally published at medium.com