Wisdom//

Creating Your Reality with Work-Life Balance, or ‘Blend’

Here's why "balance" isn't the goal you should be working toward.

By Kelsey Dixon

Whoever put the notion in our heads that we should have the perfect work-life balance is a liar. As if we all wake up every morning in perfect harmonious glory, in a pristine house, with a beautifully laid schedule and a career that never required after-hours work or thoughts…

I’m not sure what utopia set us up for this kind of failure, but I do know I don’t want to live there.

Perfect work/life balance is impossible – from early on in our careers to running the C-Suite gamut. (As digital nomads and entrepreneurs, we know better than anyone that circumstances are rarely cut and dry).

Work-life blend is the new “balance.”

It means work and personal lives are so closely intertwined that they might be indistinguishable at times. There’s no “split personality,” instead career and personal goals are correlative. Enter “The Blend“.

This was something I realized early on in my career in recruitment and sales. I found that the time I spent at networking events and coffee dates to accomplish “sales,” became fun. Because of my personality, I didn’t experience burnout from this, especially within that time of my life, when meeting new people was something I enjoyed. Professionals became friends and, as they helped my bottom line, work partners, too. So my approach was to “work” as much as possible. Work didn’t need to end when I left the office. And my personal life didn’t have to end the second I sat down at my desk.

Additionally, working as a recruiter, trainer and field sales developer throughout my college career meant that networking with other women my age, traveling to different states and playing with makeup was my “job.” I didn’t have a desk or an office, but I had a car and weekly accountability calls with my boss. The more I hustled, the more money I made, and simultaneously was able to grow an incredible network of women.

I didn’t know where work and play started and stopped, so that’s how I grew up in my professional life.

After all, here I am; co-founder of a startup with hefty, long-hour workweeks. My counterpart is a dedicated marketing genius. She’s also a dear friend. When we shared an office every day (or in the humble beginnings, a couch…), our conversations would constantly seesaw from “friend-zone” to “work-zone.” We’d recap weekend plans over lunch and discuss client work between social events. I have an accountability factor to her and our company not only as a co-worker but as a friend. There’s double at stake and double the reward. Sometimes we work long nights and sometimes we close the laptops for long weekend adventures. We’ve built blended careers because our lives are far from black and white.

On top of that, now I have taken my portion of managing our business and channelled it all through a laptop in South America. Because my business partner and I are friends, we also continually have each other’s best interest in mind, including personal goals. It was a dream of mine to live and work abroad, and now it has become my reality. And as we’ve grown our team, these new faces have become friends. Our gab sessions now happen through a computer screen rather than over drinks at happy hour, but the sentiment is still there. I’m grateful for the blend and wouldn’t have it any other way.

To me, the blend also means doing something I love.

I enjoy my work; I enjoy the people I work with, the clients we service and the industry we’re in. My work is motivating to me. This didn’t happen by accident–I had to build it! This is part of the blend: having your career feel less like “work” and more like “passion.” It may take a step, and then a leap, but it is possible. It’s my life goal, from sharing my story, to have even one person know this to be true, too.

The blend is not perfect–this is just as true as the fact that balance does not exist. Now that I’m traveling full time and I maintain a crowded startup calendar remotely, my life is a big ball of “blend,” and it has its challenges. This morning, I hiked a mountain and now I sit working at a cafe, staring at said mountain. I’m not on vacation, but I’m not in a routine either. I often feel like I’m half-doing both working and traveling. This is a sinking feeling–that you should be in two places at once and always accomplishing two things at once. Feeling torn and never completely satisfied with your day because it’s so blended that it’s hard to distinguish the stop and start. Any feelings of accomplishment are buried by the rest of that to-do list. You want to keep up with everyone back in the office, but you also want to keep up with everyone here for the week on vacation. It’s an unattainable feeling that leaves you dissatisfied with your progress regularly. I’ll close my laptop one minute and be working on my new language in another, but my brain is still in my laptop.

Don’t get me wrong.

I believe in breaks, personal time, vacation, travel, family – all the warm fuzzies that “balance” brings to mind. However, it’s impossible for those things to not interrupt the flow of your “work life” and vice versa. If they are complementary, well then, that’s a step in the direction to satisfaction. It’s work/life blend.

Balance is boring. Balance is too neat. Order challenge, on the rocks, with an extra shot of chaos. Thrive in it. Enjoy grey-ness. Enjoy “the blend.” Strive to have work and life to embrace each other. Work for people you admire and create change with passion. You spend a minimum of 2,000+ hours a year working. Make it count.

Originally published at gobehere.com

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