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Why Sometimes We Treat Strangers Better Than Our Loved Ones?

To feel loved is the most important trait of being human. Everyone loves a little attention every now and then.

Smiling couple having tea outdoors
Smiling couple having tea outdoors

To feel loved is the most important trait of being human. Everyone loves a little attention every now and then.

Attention that comes without the baggage of being judged. People are often judged by their loved ones. The reason being that loved ones know way many things than a stranger does.

They can use this knowledge to mentally abuse someone and utilize this information to their benefit. On the other hand-hewn we talk to strangers, we don’t usually put our guards up in front of a stranger.

The reason being that we feel in control with our emotions and the knowledge that the stranger possesses about us. 

“. . .sometimes one feels freer speaking to a stranger than to people one knows. Why is that?”
“Probably because a stranger sees us the way we are, not as he wishes to think we are.” 
― Carlos Ruiz Zafón, The Shadow of the Wind

When it comes to strangers, apart from feeling non-vulnerable, we also feel in charge of the conversation. We can let loose and reveal our real selves that we often try to manipulate and fit in to the expectations of our loved one.

Here, psychological role play aids to self-healing. According to studies, travellers love to role play in front of strangers on their journeys. For one day in Turkey, they can act as an industrialist from India who loves to practice and teach yoga.

On some other day, may be in London, you can pull up a French accent and act to be a model co-ordinator from Milan. There are infinite possibilities to be who you always wanted to be in front of a stranger. 

It has been observed that maximum number of people suffer from social anxiety when surrounded by known people. This is because they feel in-secured about their current lifestyle and the problems that the community may be aware of.

Problems such as living in debts, or having a addicted partner or even not being able to raise a family. All of these things can lead a person to feel isolated and alone, even at a social gathering. At such times, opening your heart to a stranger comes to your rescue.

You can pretend to live a lifestyle you have always dreamt of and have a beautiful conversation that surrounds your aspirational life. You can talk about your hobby in horse riding at your farm in Colorado.

Or you can talk about the mango wood dressing table you gifted your beautiful wife on her birthday. These random chats help you release your stress and provide you with a vision of how to achieve them in a long run when you discuss it with someone knowledgeable on such topics. 

Talking to a stranger can lead to many interesting conversations. It can also be a good knowledge sharing session. Such conversations can be a beginning of new relationship. You may find your best pal at a local bar or the love of your life on your neighbouring seat on the roller coaster.

One of the biggest reasons why we love to talk to a stranger is that they cannot judge you as they have to be careful about their own baggage.

Support groups are the best example of such great conversations. You can let loose and talk your life story in front of these people. You feel confident to open your heart here as you know that each one of them has also been in your shoes at some point in their lives.

They will listen to your troubles with an open heart and mind. This process will help you heal faster and find your pillars to maintain balance in your life. 

If you are an introvert and find it difficult to engage in a conversation with a stranger, face to face, there are always online chat rooms to help you get over your loneliness.

Here, you can chat with random people and tell your life story without caring about anyone’s reactions or trying to justify your actions.

Each day, you can get the opportunity of making a new friend and releasing your tension online. This is a safe and a great mechanism to never feel lonely with an opportunity of finding a new friend who does not judge. 

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