When I look back at the most challenging times of my life, I can see a common theme. I didn’t like myself. And by choosing to believe I wasn’t enough I made bad choices; stayed in situations I should have left and never allowed myself to dream there could be more.
Self love means accepting ourself, warts and all. We accept our bodies, brains, faults, weaknesses, ambitions, opinions, mistakes. We also accept the choices we made and make peace with them, whether they turned out good or not.
Acceptance isn’t about “you made your bed…..”. No it’s more about, “this is where I am and I choose to accept that. BUT I can CHOOSE to make a change.” It took me 40 years to learn this lesson.
I dreamed of being one of the confident girls at school. You know, the ones who carried off stylish or quirky outfits with grace. They always had the hot boyfriend and carried their intelligence with an understated dignity. There was no place they looked out of place. I on the other hand felt I was constantly searching for somewhere to fit in.
It was those years that led me to spending most of my adult life not accepting all that I was, and wasn’t. But I got there in the end. Now, I take time every day to give thanks for that journey and for the person I have become BECAUSE of those challenging times.
It’s a misconception that courage is simply about taking action. Courage is actually your commitment to express WHO you truly are and what you truly THINK, NEED and DESIRE with the world.
So what would STOP you doing that? Fear of judgement? The need for external validation and approval? Wanting to fit it, to belong? Fear of rejection or ridicule?
But if you came from a place of total self acceptance, these things may still be uncomfortable but you would have the COURAGE to do them anyway. And when we live our lives from a place of courage, we give ourselves the best opportunity to live the most incredibly fulfilling and exciting life.
What comes first? Do you learn love yourself and then decide that you are ready to master your life? Or do decide that you are ready to master yourself and self love is part of the process?
Personally, I’ve found that the more I DECIDE to push my boundaries and found out what I can really achieve, the more I love and accept myself. The more I muster the courage to speak without fear, to share my hopes and dreams, to do what scares me – the more pride I feel for who I am.
It’s true, sometimes you just have to get so tired of your own b.s. that you are ready to make a change. For me, I got tired of how hard building my business felt. I was done with hitting my head on the same ceiling and watching as others flew. Sick of feeling tired and lethargic and a little ashamed and telling myself lies about why it was ok not to change.
But I ACCEPT that part of my journey. That aspect of me that was scared of what I needed to do and who couldn’t control the exact outcome. And in that space of acceptance I found the decision to Master Myself.
When we need courage it is there. We can be our most loving, compassionate, strong and vulnerable person when we choose to come from a place of absolute self love and acceptance. More than that, not only do we get to create our best life we can have our most powerful and positive impact on the world.