Date Night…How often do you go out on a date night? When i say date night, i am also including nights out, with friends or family members (but not your children).
Honestly, last night was my second night out without the kids this year… Otherwise any days out are with my kids and our usual date nights are with my 6 year old daughter Saira…but last night, she said ‘mummy and daddy, you two go out’…. (I know why, so she could secretly sleep in my room).
Having my night out with my hubby last night really made me think again about how important these nights are! Don’t get me wrong, i absolutely LOVE spending quality time with my kids, going out on family days out, or family dinners are my number one favourite thing to do however, nights out with your partner as well as nights out or spending quality time with friends and family without your children is a total must do too.
As an entrepreneurial couple, our days are filled with conversation about work and kids… sometimes we just can’t switch off. Although we have recently become much better and we try not to discuss work after 8pm, (not always possible) and Netflix is now our best buddy however, i still can’t switch off, i am forever checking emails, social media and really have to look at putting a stop to all digital communications after 9pm!
But why are date nights so important?
One of the most important reasons is because date night allows you to help with communication with your partner, allows you to switch off and allows you to deliberately remove distractions such as the children and work/career/business demands…
Our evening last night was filled with good conversation, gratitude, discussing the positive things, how this year has been and what we plan for next year, good food and drinks and best of all… great company!
Date nights allow you to stay on the same page as your partner ensuring that our goals are still aligned or that we can support each other in a more deeper level. As entrepreneurs, we can get so engrossed in work and family life that we forget to discuss more deeper issues with our partners, issues like how we are feeling in our health, or emotionally and date nights allow us to leave work at work and to look at discussing other areas that we tend to ignore on a daily basis.
As entrepreneurs, we also need to learn to celebrate success especially each other’s success and nights out like these allow us to celebrate good time in a happy and positive manner. The more positive we feel, the more we celebrate, the more the universe delivers – we always talk about what we believe, we receive so nights out put us in a positive frame of mind.
One of the reasons we don’t go on date night as often as we probably should is due to the feeling of guilt. As parents, we feel guilty about going out without our children. In my case, i feel like my children have to be involved in every social event. I feel that if they don’t, then they are missing out however, i have now come to realise that they aren’t missing out on anything especially as most of the time we are spending that quality time with them. In fact, by not going on our date nights, we are actually putting a lot of stress and burden on the family dynamics by increasing stress level. By going out on date nights, we are keeping the ‘spark’ going which in turn lowers stress, increases the positivity and happiness and this all reflects on our children.
Also, look back and think about when our parents went out and left us, how did it make us feel? We didn’t feel sad about it, in fact, i remember feeling absolutely fine! On a school night i would take advantage and have a slightly later bed time and then sneak into my parents bed knowing that they can’t force me back into their room, and that’s exactly what my daughter did or if its a weekend, she knows she has movie night anyway! And my 1 year old is fast asleep before we go anyway so it doesn’t affect her at all. And as my in laws live with us, we should definitely take advantage of the help and support we get.
But I must now reiterate the importance of family time too…
Along with having a regular date-night, it’s also important to share in regular family time with your children. Yes, we spend time on a daily basis as a family but this is mostly daily routines – homework, dinner etc. Our children is the most important people in our lives, they are our why – As they grow up, we are responsible for making them into the people they are when they grow up – we are their mentors and their influence in life so spending time together during meals, doing extracurricular activities and spending quality family time is a satisfying bonding experience that builds communication and strengthens the family unit.
When our children receive our individual and undivided attention, as well as the structure that comes from regular family activities such as movie night, this all adds to the important sense of balance and structure that young children crave and need growing up.
So to conclude, date nights with your partner are crucial as it allows us to communicate regularly, build a strong bond and celebrate our partners success. Remember to always show respect. If you make it a point of doing these things, it will strengthen your marriage and you will be happily married entrepreneurs and a family as a whole all contributing towards a blissful life full of love and gratitude.
Simi Pandhal is an International Life Coach supporting 1000’s women internationally in their journey to a more fulfilled and purposeful life.
Check out her live videos on http://www.facebook.com/groups/thenofe
For more information or to work with Simi – check out her website http://www.simipandhal.com