Why do I keep going back to patterns I really want to change?

4 questions to explore creating access to what we really want, right now.

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For years I struggled with my own self-defeating mindsets. Often moody and tired, I tried to boost my feelings and energy by eating sugar, comfort foods and high caffeine. Working long unnecessary hours, exercising all the time, along with lack of sleep – Spending a lot hours criticizing myself (and others). I was great at showing the world how strong I was (even though on the inside I often felt incredibly consumed, fearful and exhausted).

I’ve been blessed to have worked for over 20 years in the area of self realization and healing. My years of training with spiritual teachers, healers, and physicians allowed me to move into places within myself that I’m certain I would not have had the courage to explore without their guidance. But most importantly I learned that there’s no magic bullet. You can have all the inspiration and support in the world, but it’s only when you’re ready to allow the possibility of your own internal shift to happen, that lasting changes occur. It’s always a journey within ourselves.

Personally, the greatest lesson I’ve learned is that it’s a journey of creating sacred space for myself and my life expands from that sacred space.

But, until I learned to listen deeply, paying close attention to the choices I was making moment to moment my life didn’t really shift in foundational ways. My life certainly had pieces of it that were working well, but it wasn’t holistic in it’s well-being. And this is what I really desired, that fluidity and wholeness be present in every part of my life and consciousness.

These are steps I began to take to create that holistic fluidity in my life…

Holding a grudge, feeling frustrated, impatient and those overall “angry” feelings was something I found creeping up in my life over time. By the time I begin “pausing” long enough and got the courage to really see what was happening, I realized my journey was to stop “blaming others” just because it was convenient.

When I say “it was convenient,” what I mean is that it was a beautiful and well meaning distraction. A convenient distraction that allowed me to focus on someone, or something else, instead of looking more honestly within myself.

Now, after practicing a different focus in my personal consciousness for many years, I’ve found I can solve, clear, heal, and transform a situation much more quickly. The difference is how I changed my focus.

The number one thing I’ve learned to support my well-being

Focusing on my life as a conscious whole, and not allowing my focus to be pushed and pulled by everyone and everything else.

Here are some of the things I began exploring in my life to create more well-being for myself:

  • The thoughts I chose to spend time thinking about. 
  • The people I chose to spend my time with and the topics of conversations I engaged in.
  • The types of TV programs and movies I watched and how they made me feel.
  • How much quality sleep, foods and fluids I gave myself. 
  • The chaos I would maintain or release in my life. 

If we really want to get to the heart of why we keep doing the same things over and over and over… 

Then it’s time to “step into ourselves” and really take a look around. Yes it can be a little scary and overwhelming at first, but oh is it worth it!

A key to shift anything in your life, is to ask high quality questions. I call them explorations, because I think it’s so much more fun that way! 

Ready to begin?

It’s important to understand that we begin a pattern for a reason. Each of us has made a conscious choice to engage in our “patterns” of being. AND that’s OK! However if it’s time to begin creating real shifts in our life, it’s a time to ask why and when did this particular pattern begin?

A little hint: You must have needed something. And that’s OK!

Here are 4 questions to begin creating a new path to access what we really want.

There are no “right answers” with these 4 questions I’m sharing with you today. Your life is your sacred path – Keep your focus on the exploration.

1.  When did you begin these patterns (that don’t serve you anymore)?

2.  Why did you begin them in the first place? Meaning what positive quality did they give you when you began them?

3.  What are you gaining now by keeping these patterns going?

4. What scares you the most right now about letting these patterns go?

It’s not about massive shifts, its about creating small consistent ones that you enjoy. Being able to view our journey as an exploration is an exciting first step!

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