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When the fear of hearing no is bigger than the hope is getting a yes

A great deal of the time there are things we want to attempt. But the fear of hearing no can be much bigger than getting a yes, so we step back and let things be.

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Who am I? How dare I think I can get this accomplished? What happens if I get a no instead of yes? These thoughts can run amok anything you want to try to accomplish, anytime you want to step out there and do something you’ve not done before. It’s almost as if yes is reserved for some, forbidden for others.

This is not a flimsy thought. The fear of not being accepted for who you are or what you say, can be much bigger than the hope of being accepted and encouraged. Yes. You read it everywhere. Go out and be who you are. Try and do something you are afraid of. But is that truly real? Is it more real for some people than for others?

I’m not talking about race, or gender, or ethnic background. I’m talking about being someone who hopes to accomplish something but is afraid of rejection because speaking your thoughts and being who you are is reserved for some, not all people. We know fear can be imaginary. That thoughts can take over and make you believe something that is not real. But fear is not always lack of courage. Sometimes it is deeply embedded in your psyche, because of past experiences, because of what other people have managed to convince you of.

Stepping out is necessary but not easy if this is what you are going through. Rejection is a powerful force. It is more than an idea or concept. It can dim the lights of your perception and sabotage your biggest and more wonderful dreams. How to overcome this? I don’t think there is always an answer. Perhaps time, with its healing process, can help you overcome your fears. Perhaps other people, with their understanding, can help you walk through it.

Afraid is something we have all felt but not all have conquered. Trusting others can be an uphill battle. You need to gather strength and belief in order to take that next step into what is for you the unknown. I wish it was easy but it can be very difficult. Try to believe that yes, that it is ok for you to speak your own voice. Try to believe who you are is more than what you’ve learned to think of as a minus sign. Just believe. Hard as nails. Believe.

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