Friends come in all shapes and sizes. There are some that somehow instinctively know exactly what we need at any given moment, and well, there are some that choose to fall by the wayside on the path of life. There are a few that we have to ask “Do you really know me?” Funny, but I had one of those Johnny Depp moments. There is a quote that I used to live by, one that I used to comfort my best friend with when they forgot to believe in themselves when they doubted the extent of their talent and was struggling.
“One day, The people that didn’t believe in you will tell everyone how they met you.”- Johnny Depp
You see, I’ve had people who I thought were friends abandon me when I had nothing; when they thought I had little to contribute, when I had a hard time believing, when I couldn’t find my identity out there. They ignored my phone calls, my messages, my emails, then suddenly, because they see your name out there or your work or your face plastered on the internet, well then, they all of a sudden want to show up in your life. Once again, they are knocking on your door, messaging you, they want to be on your bandwagon, they tell everyone how they knew you. They want to be part of what you created. Sadly, those are not true friends. Those that shun you when you cannot add value to their life and who suddenly reappear when they deem you worthy are the kind that gets blocked in my world. Why bother, really?
Those that we choose to keep, how do we know who truly understands us? Who will stay, and who are invested for the long haul? True, our circle of friends gets smaller as we grow older. Who are the hidden treasures that we should seek?
Well, first off, they do not tell you that they think you are “too busy”. They support you. Yup, every crazy project, every frown that comes from your face when you are deep in thought, they accept the doubts, they know where it comes from, and they are your personal cheerleading squad. They remind you to eat, to not forget to get enough sleep and they make you laugh at your silly self.
Our tribe should dance with us. Heck, they should even queue the music.
They share their own stories. They are willing to be vulnerable and tell you about the time (or times) cough, okay, dozens of times they screwed up royally. They give you that special sauce that helped them to climb through the muck and see light again. I learned the true meaning of friendship and of real love, when I met those who didn’t walk away when things got bumpy.
They recognize when you need to hear the truth. They don’t just become a yes man (or woman) they give it to you straight and help you to stay grounded. It is an old fashioned term, but essentially, they are your rock. These are the true keepers. They are the ones who never leave you wondering.
They know who you are deep down underneath that exterior that sometimes we are afraid to show the world. They see the struggles, they are aware of the silent tears that are shed when you think no one is looking. They’re your tag team, they carry on for you when you’re too tired to. They know that the path to the promised land is paved with rocks.
Nothing beats walking a similar path for years. So when those “old friends” suddenly pop up after being a bit MIA, they can’t hold a candle to the firm foundation of staying the course.
So, for those that did stay, never waivered, queue that music. Let’s dance.
This story is written in part from https://psiloveyou.xyz/the-company-we-keep-b25fead742f8