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What Is It About Guilt?

When you feel guilt, you know something is up. But Why?

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A friend of mine messaged me saying that today she scheduled a call with a fellow speaker from a summit they both attended. My friend said, Is it me, or do people think I’m an easy mark for a sale?  She went on to say that she felt so pressured to sign up and pay a ridiculous monthly fee for that person to help her get speaking gigs. After my friend said no, the person completely made her feel like crap. My friend concluded by saying that she gets that it’s a sales tactic, and, yet, wow.

There are so many things wrong with this scenario that I’m not sure where to begin. The truth is no one actually can make you feel a certain way. It’s on you. And, yet, here we have a fellow speaker pressuring another.  I know that when I meet other speakers at events, I’m excited to get to know them. What happens in a lot of cases, however, is that some are overly eager to cut to the chase. They want to know all about you, and then, BAM, they go in for the kill. It goes like this: Let’s set up a call or go for coffee. I must admit that I get sucked into meeting up or having that call in the hope that it’s not a sales pitch. The funny thing is that I instinctively know whether the person is going to pitch me or not. I think I agree to a follow-up just to prove myself wrong. Nope. It never happens. And, of course, I am always disappointed.

In the short run, the person thinks the playbook that he or she is following is kosher. They feel the steps they are following are perfectly fine. Afterall, we’re all selling something, right? Wrong. Wrong tactic. Why? — because it’s a tactic. We are in such a hurry to get ‘the sale’ that we completely sabotage any chance of building trust, building relationships, being authentic and credible. We burn bridges so fast that it limits the direction we can take. We certainly can’t back track. We have burned the bridge behind us.

You need to decide what it is that you’re hoping to attain. If you’re leading with the end in mind – making a sale, it rarely works. Even if the person already knows what he or she wants, you should not approach any sort of engagement or interaction with a pitch. We can smell it a mile away. 

Why do we do this? We’re certainly not leading with our truth. This can’t be matching how our soul wants to speak? This is where, at the end of the day, we start to question our behavior. This questioning period can manifest itself through illness, arguments, loneliness, unhappiness, weight gain, clumsiness. There are a number of ways by which misalignment can transpire. Most of the time we don’t equate our actions with other things that are going on in our lives. It may not occur to us to take a deeper look into ourselves to see what’s really going on.

This is why when something happens to us that is catastrophic, we start to pivot. We start to open our eyes to a different reality. This is driven by fear. However, if you can get past the fear and into your truth. I believe this is probably the only time when we don’t feel guilty, when we press pause on ourselves and stop to see our own mortality.

Isn’t it interesting how our feelings of guilt quickly diminish? It’s a mindset. It’s a time to reflect on what’s really going on. I always say that if someone is bold enough to push you into a corner, get out of there. Your truth will set you free. Trust yourself.

Guilt reminds you that you’re not in tune with who you truly are. When you feel guilt, you know something is up. You’re not in balance with your truth. Take a look at the next time guilt triggers you. See what’s going on within you. You’d be surprised at what you notice. Remember guilt is just a symptom of something else. And others will prey on that. Stop them in their tracks.

Speak your truth.

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