We can only every experience OUR reality.
Based on our past experiences, beliefs that have developed over time, our attitudes, our expectations, our history. Each person has their own individual view of the world.
This means we can only perceive reality based on our own map of the world.
We can not see reality as it it.
We see it as WE are.
I want to tell you the ancient story of the Chinese Farmer.
Long ago, there was an old farmer who lived and cultivated his land. He had one horse and a son.
One day, his horse escaped from his paddock and ran away into the mountains.
All the townsfolk pitied the farmer and said ‘What bad luck’. The farmer shrugged and said ‘Maybe, maybe not’.
A few weeks later, the farmers horse returned with a pack of wild horses from the mountains.
All the townsfolk were shocked and said ‘What good luck’. The farmer shrugged and said ‘Maybe, maybe not’.
A few years past and the farmers son had grown up. One day he was riding the horse, fell off and broke his leg.
All the townsfolk pitied the farmer and his son and said ‘What bad luck’. The farmer shrugged and said ‘Maybe, maybe not’.
Not long after, a war broke out through the country. All the young men were enlisted as soldiers. The farmers son was spared because of his injured leg.
All the townsfolk said ‘What good luck’. The farmer shrugged and said ‘Maybe, maybe not’.
Everything is perspective.
If we are not happy with where we are at… this means we have to do something differently.
Often doing something differently can be perceived as challenging or scary or even threatening.
It doesn’t have to be.
It is YOU who gets to choose how you see change.
A few days ago I did a Facebook Live in one of my Confidence, Now! Groups. I spoke not only about how we have the ability to control how we see change, but also about ‘Safe and Risky Problems’ and which problems we should be aiming to experience.
If you’d like to check it out, you can join the group below.
The best way to prepare yourself to move outside of your comfort zone is to change the way you think about or see it. Let’s imagine for a second that your comfort zone is called your ‘prison’. Yes, it keeps you safe and secure. It also keeps you locked away from experiencing life outside.
Within your ‘prison’, you may experience things like; fear, just getting by, surviving, settling for less, your own limitations, being like everyone else, boredom, frustration.
The space outside of your ‘prison’ is where the magic happens. Where you find how to embrace the unknown, saying yes and then working out how, actually giving things a go, life without limitations, excitement and fulfilment.
The things is, we will always experience problems no matter if we are stuck in our ‘prison’ or if we venture outside of it. The type of problems we will face will be different.
Inside our prison we will tend to experience ‘Safe’ problems. These safe problems are designed to do just that… keep us safe.
However, these safe problems also keep us from experiencing the BEST life has to offer. They keep us from knowing our true potential. They keep us from self acceptance. They keep us from experiencing a life full of genuine inner confidence.
Some of these ‘safe’ problems might push your buttons… this list I’m about to share with you might make you want to punch me. And that’s ok.
You see, I believe my role here is to help you move outside of your ‘prison’. To do this, I must bring awareness to where you may be at right now… This is the first step to moving forward.
Here’s my ‘safe problems’ list (it’s only a small list here… there are many more out there)…
- Busyness instead of taking the action required to make things happen.
- Self obsession
- Judgement of self and/or others
- Lack of health/fitness
- Making excuses
- Blaming others for non results
- Justifying where you’re at
- Lack of self esteem
- ‘Uncontrollable’ emotions
- Playing the victim or playing small
- Waiting for someone else to change
As I said… there are just a FEW of the possible ‘safe problems’ you may or may not be experiencing. I would suggest, if you’re not happy with where your life is at right now… you may have some ‘safe’ problems popping up.
Here are the ‘risky problems’ that will help to move you onto on to the path of your dreams.
- Making mistakes
- Taking responsibility for our results
- Being kind to ourselves
- Forgiving ourselves
- Having a go
- Finding out what we’re made of
- Being ok with others disapproving of what you’re doing
- Letting go of judgement
- Learning and growing
- Being open to feedback
- Being vulnerable
Again, this is a short list… there are many more.
Now, the key to know when you’re really progressing with this is when you begin to feel like it’s normal living in the space of the ‘risky problems’.
What do you believe is your biggest ‘safe problem’ right now?
For me (yes, that’s right… I’m not perfect!) it’s Busyness. I know I sometimes get caught up in the busyness of life. Doing the things that seem important at the time, yet are not actually moving me forward!
I’d love to hear your thoughts when it comes to Safe vs. Risky problems. As I mentioned this is a very short list of many… If you have any questions or would like more clarity in this area post comment below!