It was difficult to cope with the trauma of being mercilessly beaten with an ironing cord by my mother. I could not comprehend the horrible pain of the beatings, on top of knowing that my mother had so much rage in her that she could beat me in such a savage manner and usually over minor incidents.
Each time she would hit me it would stun me and I would literally hold my breath with each strike trying not to feel the sting from the lashings. I would imagine being in an invisible box that protected me from the pain and I’d peek out waiting for her to stop swinging. When she did and I saw her leave the room the box would disappear. Then my whole body would begin to sting and throb in excruciating pain. All I was able to do was lay absolutely still waiting for the pain to go away and then crawl into bed and cry myself to sleep. – Excerpt from Conversations With The Little Girl Within, a story of dealing with unresolved childhood issues.
That childhood incident impacted my adult life in more way than I ever imagined and unbeknownst to me my body never forgot the pain.
Children are very resilient yet don’t have the mental capacity to understand adult behavior. They rely on their parents or the adult figures in their live to provide for their basic needs and they usually love their caregiver unconditionally.
The environment a child grows up in will generally shape their attitude and belief about themselves and the world they live in as well as how they conduct themselves as adults in a variety of social and personal situations.
There are billions of children walking around today that are disguised as adults who live recklessly as adults because of unresolved childhood issues. Throughout my life I’ve encountered hundreds of adults who are well into life and talk freely about their traumatic issues yet many don’t attribute the negative effects appropriately to their current relationships and lifestyle.
They’ve relived and retold their stories thousands of time and with the same emotional intensity. Many have resigned to living a less than fulfilling life because they remain stuck emotionally at the age of their traumatic childhood experience.
If you are wondering how this issue is important to you, then consider this. According to the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (samosa.gov) children with Adverse Childhood Experiences are at a higher risk for abuse of alcohol, drugs and other substances.
If now in your adult life you are challenged with abusing some substances, or even exhibit behavioral problems such as depressive disorders, high risk sexual behaviors or sleep disturbances then more than likely your’e subconsciously trying to anesthetize some painful memories associated with your adverse childhood experience.
Don’t take your life for granted or dismiss the childhood issues that still haunt you today. Get the professional help you need to get free from the emotional control those experiences still have on you.
Shirley Harris is an author, professional life coach, certified Alcohol, Drug and Substance Abuse Specialist, and motivational speaker. You can find her on Facebook and for more of her work visit her website, join her aspiring conversations community or follow her on Instagram and twitter.
Her book Conversations With the Little Girl Within will be released Fall 2017.