When we hear speakers give their talks on “vision” and “honing a vision”, it’s generally in a business environment or referencing career, fitness or sports. Rarely (if ever) do many people even think to create and develop a vision for the most important relationship in their life: their intimate partner relationship.
Can you imagine starting a business with a partner that you’ve never discussed the vision that you have for that business? Pretty much, that would be a recipe for disaster.
Astonishingly, the majority of people expect their intimate partner relationship to organically grow into the happy sunset. Truth be told, most do not.
So what is this thing “vision”? It’s a mental picture of an intentional destination. It’s a snapshot of the ultimate and fulfilling thing, in its best form. Having a vision is one of the keys to a happy and dynamic partner relationship. T
The earlier in the relationship that this vision is honed by the partners, the happier and more fulfilling that relationship. The more that the partners have a strong sense of what they want from the relationship, the better. Once they discuss it, there now exists a focal point on the horizon that makes navigating the relationship so much easier. Keeping their sights on that horizon point will also serve to keep the relationship waters smoother.
So, how do you start creating this vision? Whether you are not yet in a partner relationship or have been with someone for years, here are some questions to ask yourself:
What does my ultimate relationship look like?
How does my partner show up in that relationship?
How do I show up in that relationship?
What are my non-negotiables (NEEDS)?
What are the extras that would be “great if…” (WANTS)?
For absolutely certain, having ALL of your non-negotiables included in the vision is a must – and that stands for BOTH partners. The vision for the relationship is a MUTUAL vision and should satisfy the NEEDS of both partners. If that is not synchronized, the relationship will struggle – as the team is only as strong as its players are excited about being part of the team!
It is also important to periodically revisit your vision. Discussing it once is not enough. Revisiting it and talking about it periodically keeps it fresh and stands as a good reminder to each of the partners, helping to keep the relational waters smooth.
Vision is key to any endeavor – including your partner relationship. Hone the vision, risk sharing it with your partner, tweak it and run to it! Your relationship will soar to new heights of daily living AND long-term fulfillment.