We all have triggers, whether we notice them or not.
Triggers are the events in our life that evoke a negative response, be it stress, anxiety or anger (and so forth).
These triggers are rooted deep in our subconscious and are based on experiences and beliefs from way back in our childhood; they manifest in real-time through the filter in which we view the world.
A trigger could be a friend that’s always late, a husband who doesn’t acknowledge your efforts or a child that doesn’t listen for the hundredth time. Triggers are sneaky buggers, they’re not actually about the current situation. The reason triggers evoke such a strong emotional response in you is because of something much deeper that’s rooted in the subconscious.
If you notice something in your life that triggers you, see it as an opportunity to go within and curiously explore what about that particular event makes you feel the way you do. The Universe has a timely way of noticing when we’re doing self-work, and providing us with situations provoking triggers that help us go deeper, and expand us more fully into our highest selves.
I am triggered all the time (by family, friends, children), and in the past, triggers would often cause a shit-storm of negative emotions, which would then present in a bad mood, and envelop everyone around me; usually my husband and kids would get the brunt of it.
I am now learning to deal with these triggers more consciously. Instead of allowing my subconscious mind (which is responsible for 95 percent of behaviours, habits, emotional responses and beliefs) deal with the situation, I am shining the light of presence onto them, and exploring them with curiosity before instilling a new belief, replacing the old automatic reaction.
An example of this that happened to me recently is a neighbourhood BBQ (that we were not invited to). I shouldn’t have cared about this so much, I had other plans anyway. Being left-out triggered something deep within me, and all of a sudden my head was swirling with reasons why we hadn’t been invited, my ego started getting defensive about why I shouldn’t care, and my vibe started taking a serious dip which could have easily sabotaged the date night I had planned with my husband that night.
Having noticed this trigger consciously I was able to stop my thoughts before more momentum gathered. I questioned myself as to why my subconscious was reacting so strongly to this and realized it was from past experiences of being left out and sometimes bullied as a child. Because of these past events I had a deep desire to belong, so much so that I have gone to the other extreme in my life, regularly creating activities, events and groups (such as this tribe), and inviting absolutely everyone without discrimination.
This was a powerful realization and gave me the opportunity to set a new belief instead. Consciously I know that my internal alignment is key and giving my energy to situations like this will pull me away from keeping my vibe high which is imperative for showing up as my best self for my family, friends and mission.
I also now realize that all events in life are neutral, and it is us who gives them meaning and labels as good or bad based on our judgements and expectations. By being able to view this situation from a place of neutrality, I decided how I wanted to feel in that moment and selected a new set of beliefs to replace the old automatic reactions.
This trigger event lead to a transformation about how I want to react (or not react) in similar situations, and I am finding it easier to consciously examine other triggers that present in my life too.
We think between 60,000-70,000 thoughts a day and 90 percent of those are the same thoughts we thought the day prior. No wonder so many of us keep living the same lives on repeat.
It takes being aware of our thoughts and consciously choosing ones that support or highest self instead of coasting on autopilot based on our past experiences, beliefs and reactions.
I encourage you to pay close attention to your triggers. When you notice a negative response come up based on something in your external environment explore it with curiosity. Before placing a negative label on it view it from a neutral place. Choose how you want to feel in the moment and then approach this situation from a new frequency.
Originally published at www.cloudsanddirt.co