Last week I wrote about my 14k running success, how proud I was and how I’d overcome a hell of a lot of self-doubt to get there. I wondered what you might be telling yourself and what old stories might be holding you back.
Yet, I’ve felt like somewhat of a hypocrite this week. I feel like I’ve taken 10 steps back.
I’ve felt ashamed. I’ve felt embarrassed as my stats have uploaded to Strava.
I had to stop a 5k half way through as my calf muscles felt like they were going to explode (lesson learnt, always warm up no matter what) and our long 11.5k run this week felt like running through treacle.
I wanted to stop so many times.
That’s a lie, I did stop so many times.
I honestly think that if I hadn’t had my fiance, Ant, by my side, keeping me going (or making me move again!), I’m fairly certain I would’ve given up fairly soon into that long run.
I beat myself up, I thought ‘Why is this so hard? HOW can this be so hard?’.
Yet I keep reminding myself that it’s all part of the process. There are so many other things going on, so many external factors to contend with (weather, time of day, amount of sleep, mood, hormones – you get the jist) that some days I’m going to be all in and some days I’m just not.
In fact, I actually keep reminding myself that the plan we’re following (nothing snazzy, just a free one on Nike Run Club) is put together the way it is for a reason. The main thing is that no matter how hard it gets, I continue to show up. Through thick and through thin, I keep doing it. The highs have felt so high and the lows have felt so low, but the main thing is that I continue to show up. Not for anyone else, but for me.
In my morning visualisations, I keep seeing the end goal – running our own half marathon in 6 weeks time (right now that sounds terrifying!) – and that feeling of pride, that sense of achievement that I’ll feel when I’ve done it. That’s what keeps me going.
Trust in the process.
When it comes to showing up and getting visible, I wonder how you’re getting on?
It might be that you’re uncovering the highs and lows, the ups and downs. It might be that you’re riding on the highs, or maybe you’re thinking, ‘another time’ as it feels uncomfortable getting vulnerable.
Trust in the process.
My one final thought for you today… How can you get comfortable being uncomfortable getting yourself out there everyday? How can you give yourself accountability? What process can you follow with an end goal in mind?
“The willingness to show up changes us. It makes us a little braver each time.” – Brene Brown.
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