2019 has just begun. A new year, new dreams and a GOT final season that should kick some ass (giggling)
Vishen Lakhiani; the author and founder of Mindvalley believes it takes more than just money and good looks to be fulfilled, and that if you want to be happy in 2019, you should focus on these six areas: your friendships, adventures, career and skills, health and fitness, relationships, and your spiritual life.
His motto: “A balanced life is a well-lived one,” and here`s why:
“When you think of your life and where you want to grow, think holistically. Too many people live lives lacking in balance. They may have great wealth but lousy relationships with their family. Or they may be incredibly fit and healthy but struggle with debt. Or they may have a career filled with achievements but feel heartbroken and lonely,“ writes Lakhiani in his bestseller, The Code of the Extraordinary Mind: 10 Unconventional Laws to Redefine Your Life and Succeed On Your Own Terms.
Balance is a term that may not be as trending as “hustling,” but that doesn`t make it less important. Einstein, Ted Williams (the famous baseball player), Bobby Fischer and Franz Kafka were extraordinary people with great careers, but outside of that, they weren`t great models to follow.
When a reporter asked Bobby Fischer, the chess master, about how satisfied he was with his life, Fischer said, “Well, it would have been better, you know. A little more balanced . . . a little more rounded.”
You need to do well in all the areas that matter. Einstein was probably the most gifted mind in the last decade but his family life sucked. He was divorced twice, stopped visiting his son Eduard —who struggled with mental illness— for more than thirty years and his other son Hans once said, “Probably the only project he ever gave up on was me.”
If sucking at parenting was valued, Eini should`ve gotten another Nobel. He couldn`t balance his life, and I think he wasn`t the happiest.
“An extraordinary life is balanced on all levels. Thinking holistically will help you make sure you don’t end up winning in one area but losing in another. I use the Twelve Areas of Balance to help keep an even keel, and now it’s your turn,” said Lakhiani.
So what to do?
Ask more questions, seek different answers and set new goals that make life more fulfilling.
Lakhiani believes you should have at least five people who can have your back and whom you can enjoy time with.
Sounds a lot?
Some experts suggest it`s eight not five.
Tom Rath, the author of Vital Friends: The People You Can’t Afford to Live Without believes your life needs eight types of friends:
Make it your mission to find one of each type and befriend them.
Questions to ask:
You may ask, shouldn`t month two be dedicated to my career?
Maybe, but if you start thinking early on about the type of experiences you want to have this year, the rush of excitement will pump you to take your career to a different level— at least to fund for these experiences.
Recent studies say that spending money on experiences is more fulfilling than shopping, so this month you should think about traveling or any other experience that makes you excited.
Questions to ask:
Job satisfaction is key to happiness. Roman Krznaric, author of How to Find Fulfilling Work believes a fulfilling career should;
Unfortunately, and according to studies, more than 60 percent of US adults say they would choose a different career if they could start again. So, I guess it`s time to ask some serious questions about how happy do you feel about what you do and whether or not you need to change your career. Here are some questions to ask:
The older you get, the more you need a partner to stand beside you in bad and good days. These are some steps to follow to improve your love life this year depending on your status:
If you don`t have one then the coolest thing to do is to start looking. The two quickest ways to finding potential partners are:
The first thing to do if you`re tired of being single, is to know exactly where to mingle. Don`t spend the whole night in your room and expect someone to knock on your door with a tight ass and a pie of pizza (unless Hooters starts a home delivery line).
Ask yourself what type of person do I want to attract and where they normally spend time, and hang in there for at least an hour every day. You can`t fish in your bathroom tub, you`ve got to go where the fish go. Hit the gym, go to speed dates, work from a coffee shop instead of home, hit some clubs/bars…etc. If you spend the time and do the job correctly, you`ll find a handful of potential partners in less than six weeks.
A connector, like I said earlier, is someone who knows everybody. Find this person and hang out with them more often. Trust me, this works.
If you already have a relationship
John Gottman, the famous relationship expert and founder of The Gottman Institute has some good tips for you:
A bid, according to Gottman, is the fundamental unit of emotional communication that makes or breaks a relationship. “A bid can be a question, a gesture, a look, a touch—any single expression that says, “I want to feel connected to you.” A response to a bid is just that—a positive or negative answer to somebody’s request for emotional connection.” He says.
Your goal this month is to increase your bids with the little things that matter.
Tom Hardy the founder of SUCCESS Magazine was once talking about how he changed his marital life with he began to write one thing he loved about his wife every day for a year then he gave her the journal as a birthday gift. If it worked for him, it can work for you too.
Know as many details as possible about your partner; their likes, dislikes, old memories, and any major event in his or her history. Gottman believes happy couples understand each other`s world better than their siblings, friends and even parents.
They read each other like an open book and know everything about their lives including doubts, concerns, hot spots and even trivial things like their favorite TV show or how they like their salad.
Spend your free time together, share your secrets, seek to impress them even if it makes you look silly and talk to each other when you have bad days. Your goal is to be their most favorite person by the end of the month.
Questions to ask:
Every overweight person I know have tried dieting at least once in their life —and failed. Even those who`ve lost a significant amount of weight; most of them regain it back in no time, mostly because they trap themselves in the dieting mentality.
They starve themselves for three or four months and eat food they hate to death until they reach their goal. Then all the weight starts crippling back on their body as they lean towards their old eating habits
The dieting mentality doesn`t work because:
The key is to stop chasing after every single diet on the planet and start a sustainable lifestyle. Find an activity that you like and build your life around it, and adjust your eating habits so you can eat the things you love in moderation.
Robert Glover, who lost a huge amount of weight and became a fitness coach and YouTube celebrity, believes that the key to a sexy body is consistency and nothing else. “Consistency is a thousand times more important than intensity. Consistency is the money when it comes to fitness whether you`re trying to lose weight or gain muscles,” he said.
For building consistency, Glover summarizes fitness in two simple rules:
Personally, I`ve been eating one meal a day for the last 12 months. It`s very satisfying to have a huge plate of 1,500-2,000 of food, plus it gives me a wiggle room when it comes to the types of food I eat.
Questions to ask: Turn to your partner more often
Experts believe that things like mindfulness, gratitude, self-love and self-compassion make us happy. In a recent study, researchers found that practicing mindfulness consistently —even for just a few minutes— increases sympathy and connection with other people.
Another 2015 study found that after six weeks of mindfully meditating, participants reported significantly greater vitality as well as less personal distress. Studies also found that mindfulness increases well-being —especially in young boys— and it can be as effective as pills in dealing with moderate sleep problems.
So, what to do?
Build your morning routine around mindfulness. Start with five minutes of meditation every morning for a month and see what happens.
Questions to ask: