The Wisdom of Resilience – as told by a First Grader

When Your 7-Yr Old Uses Your Words Against You

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Ah, April, it’s lovely to see you.

You enter in spring, you enter in hope, you enter in a fresh start to the season of cleaning and newness. Yet you might be thinking: “Is Stacy kidding me with this; how are we in a season of newness when we still find ourselves in this COVIDish situation (despite some very good progress that we see on the horizon)?

I get it; it’s challenging to stay positive. It’s challenging to continue to be resilient and forge ahead daily with a positive attitude. Honestly, sometimes we just have to fake it until we make it to the other side. Sometimes the Bank of Resilience is running an overdraft. And sometimes we just need to hear our own words reflected back at us like – BAM – I forgot; I do say that.

Don’t let this shock you, but the other day I just wasn’t my fabulous, humorous, “have-it-all-together-self” and I was throwing myself one fantastic pity party – guest list of ONE. My 7-year old sensed I was a little down and said, “Mom, what’s our saying? Fall down 7 times, get up 8.”

Talk about – BAM! Out of the mouths of babes! That little squirt used my own words against me and completely crashed my party!(Clearly he wasn’t above gloating either.)

But he was right to do so.

How many times have the levels of our resilience meters dipped over the past year? How many times have we doubted ourselves, our ability to successfully lead our teams remotely, engage our co-workers, transition to the next-level we don’t feel quite ready for, etc…? On any given day we can play the doubt game with ourselves. It’s an act of intention and the use of reminders that help us make deposits in our resilience bank.

Try these 4 Tips, Tricks, and Mantras to bolster your resilience when it’s running low. Share them with your teams; they may need them more than you realize.

  1. You CAN Figure Things Out! – Problems, difficulties and challenges will never stop; they’ll never go away. But if you’re still alive to read this email, you’ve made it through ALL of those previous problems, difficulties, and challenges before. You’re going to do it again. You’re going to figure it out.
    Been there. Done that. Doing it now. Get up an 8th time.
  2. Don’t Moan the Discomfort Zone – Life is easy in the Comfort Zone. In the Comfort Zone, things are smooth, life has a pattern and nothing is too difficult. But success is only realized in the Growth Zone. In order to get to the Growth Zone, you have to travel through the Discomfort Zone. So make this drive a game and attempt to enjoy the journey. Face its twists and turns and keep score – Me = 1, Perilous Dangerous Discomfort Zone Traps = 0. Not today. Not today perilous trap.
  3. Believe the Universe is Friendly – I take no credit for this. Albert Einstein actually asked this question: “Is the Universe Friendly?” and far be it from me to discount him. But ask, is the Universe happening TO me or FOR me? Pity Party of One would say TO. Obnoxious 7-year old, viciously using my own positivity against me would say FOR. The question to ask and the reframe to have is – What if the Universe doesn’t give us what we want, but it gives us what we need to move us to where we are supposed to be? Oooooooh, that’s deep for a Friday.
  4. Stop Talking to Yourself – Srikumar Rao, author and Columbia Business School Professor, says silence is the death for any idea or belief. He feels that if an idea or belief is never spoken or written down, it dies with the person who conceived it. Negative thoughts, ideas, and beliefs can only be given power and falsely represent reality when you repeat them. They can only be believed when they are repeated. Stop it. Shhhh it. Tell yourself the truth; don’t believe the lies your mind is telling you. You’ve got proof from #1 – You Can Figure it Out.

Use these tips, tricks and mantras to make deposits in your Bank of Resilience and share them with your teams. Pick one that resonates and use it, today.

It’s the next best alternative if you don’t have your own sage, mirror-wielding 7-year old handy. (However, if you’d like one for a few hours, say between the hours of 6-8am on a Saturday, email me on the side, we can work something out there too…)

Connect with Stacy at or on LinkedIn.

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