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The Verdict? GUILTY

How Often Are You Making Decisions Out Of Guilt and Obligation?

Several years ago, I went through a painful breakup. It all ended late on a Friday night.

But by 8 AM on Saturday, I was back in the office for a previously scheduled meeting.

Some people would’ve cancelled or blown the meeting off. But not me.

You know why I showed up?

Because of Guilt and Obligation.

I prided myself on being reliable, consistent and following through on my commitments.

ALL. THE. TIME.

That Saturday morning meeting was no different.

At the time, I was caught in a vicious cycle of over-committing, feeling like I owed people whatever they asked for and neglecting my own care and needs.

It wasn’t healthy.

Soon after that weekend, I began to look at my life differently.

I started making decisions for ME, not for other people.

This meant stepping back from some work commitments, saying no to personal invitations that I didn’t want to attend and drawing boundaries to protect myself from toxic people and situations.

I felt a little lost at first because a lot of my self-worth was tied up in achieving and making other people happy.

And this new way of looking at things required me to let some people down.

To guide my new outlook, I had to get clear about my priorities and what I wanted professionally and personally.

This needed to be based on MY needs and desires, not other people’s.

Part of what allowed me to make this shift is that I had confidence in myself and I knew my value.

I started to feel comfortable saying no and learned to do so with a smile and tact so that people didn’t hate me, write me off or roll their eyes.

You can do this too.

If you feel like you’re on a hamster wheel just trying to keep up and make everyone happy, it doesn’t have to be this way.

By getting clear about what you want and learning how to communicate your needs effectively, you can change things. (For more on this, check out my blog post).

If you want to explore this further, let’s talk. I’m here to help!

Originally published at www.mosaicgrowth.com

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