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The Trap We’re All Stuck in…

And we need to find a way out

Courtesy of Unsplash.com - Clem Onojeghuo

I’ve been blessed with the opportunity to coach people from all walks of life.

From all over the world. From different religious backgrounds (although I tend to attract Christians).

Every one of my clients has a different story. Some struggle loving their body image. Some struggle with their love relationships. And others struggle with finding their purpose in the world.

However, as different as they may seem on the outside, there’s one particular struggle I’ve noticed to be all too common. And that is the struggle in getting sucked into the comparison trap.

Some people believe it all started with social media. But I think it surfaced even before social media made its big breakthrough in the online world.

As children, we quickly learn the difference between being a good and bad girl. Then in school, we learn the difference between being a teacher’s pet and the class clown.

Later in life, we learn the difference between grades. An A means you understood the material and an F means you didn’t study hard enough and failed at that test.

But, from a child’s perspective, receiving an A could also be interpreted as being the good child, the smart child the child with a bright future. Whereas, an F could be internalized very differently.

I still remember one of the first times I started getting sucked into the comparison trap. I was in fifth grade. And I was considered one of the most popular girls in school (to this day, I don’t know why – lol). But even though I gained popularity amongst my peers, I constantly compared myself to one of my friends.

I thought she was perfect at everything. From making musical instruments out of jar tops to creating the perfect human body (internal organs and everything) poster assignment for science class. She excelled at everything she did.

Internally, I competed with her on school projects.

But every time I competed, she always won (in my mind)! And I always wondered,

“Why couldn’t I be like her?”

I guess that’s a question we’ve all asked ourselves. And the best answer I can give you is this.

God is a creative. He created all of creation. The evidence of his beautiful creation can be found in the stars at night.

In the clear blue beaches with the calming waves.

In the breathtaking mountains topped with perfectly powder-like snow.

And in the development and birth of a new baby into the world.

These and many other examples reinforce how powerful, wonderful and creative our God is.

And in the same way He created the beautiful nature around us, He also created us.

His children. His beloved. His beautiful masterpiece.

Now, He could have created us all alike. With the same talents and gifts. With the same features and personality.

But he decided to create us individually different. Want to know why?

Because God is creative. He’s NOT a copy and paste type of God. God is way more creative than to simply copy and paste us.

He didn’t make us in a factory using the assembly line system.

He made us with purpose and on purpose.

So then why are we constantly comparing ourselves to others and wishing we had it “easy” like other people. Wishing we had her body. Wishing we had her relationship. Wishing we had her job. Wishing this and wishing that.

Instead of wishing so much. We need to learn how to be thankful. Thankful because our God decided to create us.

Thankful because he thought it was important to create me. Create you. Create us all.

Thankful because God didn’t want to deprive this world from someone like you.

Thankful because he didn’t think this world was complete without first completing you.

In the Bible it says, “For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb.” – Psalm 139:13

God created each of us individually. He made you with that body for a reason. He gave you that family for a reason. He instilled that dream inside of you for a reason. There’s a reason for all of his creations. So instead of looking at how others are wealthier, thinner, happier and prettier, we need to learn how to own who we are and embrace ourselves.

One way to do this is by practicing gratitude.

I personally keep a gratitude journal where I write what I’m thankful for on that particular day. I find that when I focus on my blessings rather than my shortcomings and trials, I’m more resilient from going down the slippery slope of comparison.

How about you? When have you personally struggled with falling into the comparison trap?

Ingrid is a Self-Love coach for Christian Ladies that helps them fall in love with themselves so they can live the life they desire. For more on how to overcome the comparison trap, download Ingrid’s FREE workbook on How to Beat The Comparison Trap. 

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