Community//

The Secret to Loving Yourself

By Deena C. Brown, PhD. Founder, The Leadhershift Movement

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I AM the sunshine I need in my life.
I AM the sunshine I need in my life.

You’re probably familiar with self-help books and talk show hosts who tell you to love yourself, but you may be wondering how to go about that. Your relationship with yourself is the most important connection in your life; however, it’s easy to forget about nurturing it.

“Be gentle with yourself, learn to love yourself, to forgive yourself, learn to love yourself, to forgive yourself, for only as we have the right attitude toward ourselves can we have the right attitude.”

Self-love and compassion are too important to neglect because they shape your experiences and relationships with others. Protect your health and wellbeing by making positive changes in the way you think about and treat yourself.

My Women’s Crush Everyday #wcweveryday is ME! Loving myself on purpose with purpose is my most sacred mission. There was a time when I was so buried in self-loathing that I could not see the forest of my unique beauty because I was concentrating on the weeds of discontent.

My greatest epiphany, If I do not know how to show love to myself, how will others know how to follow?

Many of us are hard on ourselves or so busy with external obligations that we rarely consider our own personal priorities. You have the power to change that … STARTING NOW!

“You, yourself, as much as anybody else in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection.”

Looking inward could help you to value yourself more. These strategies will help you to think more highly of yourself:

Accept yourself. Know that you are worthy of love and respect just the way you are this moment. Embrace yourself with all your strengths and weaknesses.

Clarify your purpose. Invent your own definition of success. Ask yourself what a meaningful life means to you, even if that answer changes over time.

Talk yourself up. How do you speak to yourself? Choose words that are encouraging and uplifting. Use your internal dialogue to build your confidence and manage your emotions.

Offer forgiveness. Let go of the past so that you can move on. Take any decisions that you regret and turn them into opportunities to learn. Make amends where possible and resolve to handle things more constructively in the future.

Avoid comparisons. Facebook didn’t invent social comparisons, but social media has increased the potential for envy and inferiority complexes. Try competing with your last performance instead of living up to someone else’s standards. You’ll accomplish more if you dare to be yourself.

Think positive. Looking on the bright side and being able to laugh at yourself makes you even more lovable. It also helps you to manage stress and deal with difficult circumstances.

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People look for retreats for themselves, in the country, by the coast, or in the hills . . . There is nowhere that a person can find a more peaceful and trouble-free retreat than in his own mind. . . . So constantly give yourself this retreat, and renew yourself.

- MARCUS AURELIUS

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