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The Reality of Love

Wise people say, “Love is the answer.” Apparently, no matter the question, love is the answer. Talk about vague! I spend most of my days with the intention of love. But the ways it looks when put into action are many and varied. Love should be the intention. I know this for sure now. When […]

Wise people say, “Love is the answer.” Apparently, no matter the question, love is the answer.

Talk about vague! I spend most of my days with the intention of love. But the ways it looks when put into action are many and varied.

Love should be the intention. I know this for sure now.

When I choose how to put love into action, however, I take in many variables for consideration. I take in the people involved, their histories and personalities. I consider the time of day and month and whether I’ve eaten recently, because I know these can affect my mood. I think about the culture and global climate. I consider my own values and happiness requirements. I attempt to factor in unknown elements. And I assess the predicted outcome.

At least these are all the things I take into account on a good day, when I’m living as my best and most authentic, empathetic and courageous self. Not every day is a good day, though. Some days, I feel tired or scared or frustrated and this can cloud my judgement.

But even on a good day, the choice about how to enact love is rarely easy.

On my journey so far, I’ve learned that the one singular intention for love has many possible expressions…

Love can be steadfast. No matter what happens, it will always be there.

Love walks away. In spite of giving our all and caring deeply, in spite of feeling like a failure, love bows out, defeated.

Love is a long embrace.

Love pushes someone away.

Love is speaking what’s in our hearts. It’s sharing our truth even when our heart is pounding and we fear love won’t be returned.

Love is staying silent. Even when we know the truth. Especially when the truth will be a mighty blow. Love keeps words unspoken.

Love says, “Yes.”

Love says, “Hell, no.”

Love exercises regularly. It also eats carrots and leafy greens.

Love stretches out on the sofa. It devours ice-cream and indulges in chocolate, especially champagne truffles.

Love is open and easy going.

Love draws clear boundaries.

Love says, “I will walk to the ends of the Earth with you.”

Love says, “Leave if you have to. I’m not going anywhere.”

Love is the softest, gentlest touch.

Love is rage. It is fierce and can’t be messed with.

Love turns a blind eye. It empathises with transgressions.

Love says, “Not on my watch.” It demands justice.

Love is naïve. It’s hopeful, optimistic and wears blurry lenses.

Love is wise. It’s been around the block more times than it cares to count and it’s a realist.

Love rushes in. It’s excited, impetuous and madly committed.

Love is infinitely patient. Free from anxiety, full of certainty, it will faithfully wait.

People often try to tell us what love is or what it’s supposed to look like. Sometimes, they make our love seem wrong because our choices and actions don’t align with their definition of love.

But love is not rigid in its definitions. Only we can know, if we are honest with ourselves, the truth about whether our intentions, words and actions are sourced in love.

Choose with love and love the choices you make. That’s all we can really do anyway because we have no guarantee about the outcome or response.

Love knows how to, and will, adjust when necessary. Love is flexible. Love can pause – even if just for a moment – long enough to make a different choice when needed.

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