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Surviving to Thriving

Rise to Thrive

This Thursday is International Women’s Day. It has been a busy week for me and I have been very fortunate to have been asked by two different organisations to be their guest speaker at events for women. I will be talking through my journey, from the catalyst for my change and what happened next.

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Sometimes life strips away the person who you knew yourself to be.

When you rise from the ashes you are given the opportunity to build something stronger and more powerful.

Times of adversity build an inner strength that you can use in a positive way to rise to thrive.

That’s what I did.

This is my story.

I don’t want to give too much away but here is a blog that I wrote last year.

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My low life points have been a gift

Yes, I really just said that!

My lowest moments have got me to the here and now, they have got me to be the person I am today, doing work that I love’ and for that I am grateful.

In everything there is a positive. Sometimes it is harder to identify but there is always a positive even if the positive is something you have learnt from the experience.

I would describe myself as a positive person and I truly believe this is what has got me here and still smiling.

It hasn’t all been smiles and laughter believe me, but I have survived, and I think I have done better than that: I have thrived.

Coaching and self-development training means that I am reminded daily of the impact of positive behaviours as well as the significant impact of negative thinking.

Think, believe, achieve.

I’m not wonder woman and I don’t have special powers but I have learnt to manage each day, put my best effort into it, and be confident that every daily small step I take is leading me on to the place where I want to be. The important thing for me is to enjoy the journey as much as possible and that way if the end goal changes I don’t resent the time and steps I have already taken I just see it as a detour, or at best a scenic route.

So, what do I do that means I thrive and not just survive?

· I focus on increasing the positive. I find this a better method than trying to remove negatives! More positive means less room for negatives.

· I identify things that make me feel good, the things that fulfil me and make me laugh and smile and I make sure that I show gratitude for these things; no matter how small.

· When not in work you will find me in one of two places either in the gym training with the ‘Bristol Strongest’ Strongman team or at the home of Bristol Flyers Basketball supporting my son or as a volunteer for the mens league team. Between these two places I am surrounded by supportive people who support my goals.

· I choose what and who fills my headspace and I remove negative press, negative people and negative thoughts as much as I possibly can.

· I set myself goals to work towards, small medium and large so that I have something to focus and work towards. I can then recognise my progress and feel motivated to achieve and be more.

· I grow as an individual by stepping out of my comfort zone, even if it’s only a small step! When I hear myself saying I can’t, I add the word ‘YET’

More of

Less of

· Express gratitude

· Cultivate optimism

· Practice acts of kindness

· Nurture social relationships

· Develop strategies for coping

· Learn to forgive

· Savour life’s joys

· Commit to your goals

· Emotional reasoning

· Labelling

· Personalisation – this is my fault

· All or nothing thinking

· Disqualifying the positive

· Jumping to conclusions

· Avoid overthinking

· Avoid social comparison

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People look for retreats for themselves, in the country, by the coast, or in the hills . . . There is nowhere that a person can find a more peaceful and trouble-free retreat than in his own mind. . . . So constantly give yourself this retreat, and renew yourself.

- MARCUS AURELIUS

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