I just got off a coaching call and we talked today about choosing vs being chosen. Whoa that’s a tough one for a lot of people, isn’t it?
Ever notice the pattern that rears its ugly head when it comes up? The one where our worth relies on someone choosing us? Whether it’s – a friend, a job, a parent, or a partner … The mindset is “will I be good enough?”
When we look at things through this lens it’s no wonder why we suffer, because our worth is reliant on someone else’s capability of choosing us ( that never ends well) and if we haven’t healed that part of us that feels unworthy of being chosen, we continue to attract people that cannot choose us. This vicious circle just goes round and round in a crazy eight pattern. It’s only when you step outside the pattern and realize your self-worth must come from YOU and you’re capable of choice.
Worthiness doesn’t look like perfection, it looks like believing in yourself and for the record, you never have to earn your worthiness, you just have to remember it.
You’re the one choosing if a friendship serves you, if a partner is capable of meeting your needs, if a parent needs boundaries, if a job is the best fit, if the person you’re dating makes sense right now.
How about instead of “am I good enough?”, ask yourself “Are they, is “this” good enough for me?” Game changer right?
This is a small mindset shift with huge benefits. Because when we start to fill our self-worth bucket from the inside we don’t rely on others to fill it. And when we release that, we can start choosing things, people who we want in our lives and who are an energetic match for us.
So the next time you notice that you’re hoping to be chosen, (flashback to grade school waiting to be picked for dodgeball ) take a step back, close your eyes, and take a deep breath. Now envision the person in front of you for who they are, and what they can give. Remind yourself that this is who they are and not a reflection of you. It’s never about you. So instead of looking at it as rejection, look it like redirection from the universe.
My hope is that reading this post encourages and inspires YOU to walk proudly in the direction you’re being pulled towards. Do it for yourself because you matter and because you’re worthy, and then do it for the people who you could potentially be impacted as a result of your choices. Then watch how quickly you attract people who willingly will choose you back.