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Stop Fighting for Success and Start Living it Out

How much of your life have you determined and defined what success is by what other people presented to you and taught you? “You’ve got to prove yourself,” “You’ve got to fight to get to the top,” “Nothing worth having is easy!” If you feel like you are banging your head against a brick wall […]

How much of your life have you determined and defined what success is by what other people presented to you and taught you? “You’ve got to prove yourself,” “You’ve got to fight to get to the top,” “Nothing worth having is easy!”

If you feel like you are banging your head against a brick wall trying to break through in your career or business, you may be unwittingly undoing yourself by functioning from the idea that you have to fight for every bit of success you get. 

The problem with the fight to succeed is that it’s based on fighting against – fighting against failure, against obstacles, against inequalities, discrimination, limitations. When we feel the need to fight to make our way, all our attention and energy goes to the conflict, leaving very little energy for the actual creation of our goals or targets. 

So, if you don’t fight for success, what are your other options? Drop your dukes and try these 5 easy (and far more fun) tools for success:

Acknowledgement and Gratitude:

Gratitude is one of the most generative elements of any creative process. Be grateful and acknowledge what you have already created as your business and life and what is already there.

We so often look at what we have not created yet, what is missing, what we should have created so far. This pulls us into cycles of judgements that destroys everything and creates self-conflict. Lift yourself up with being grateful for yourself. Recognize the gift that you are and what you bring to this world just by being you.

Ask questions every day 

Questions always open us up to possibilities and stop us from focusing on problems. Problem-solving is a reactive mindset. Possibilities are a creative mindset! Ask everyday: 

  • What can I be, create, and do today that would out-create yesterday? 
  • What else is possible today that I have not considered so far?
  • What is a better way forward here?
  • What needs my attention today?

Stop trying to control the outcome

Dare to dream big – for something greater than you can imagine! Your imagination is actually a limitation. So, if you want truly big success – ask for a business and life so big you can’t handle it! 

Most people have misidentified what they think being out of control is. It isn’t being or acting erratic or crazy, rather it is having the courage and willingness to change and go beyond your comfort zone – which is where all the fun and magic happens! If you are trying to control or predict your success, you are limiting it. Just imagine for a minute, that you didn’t have to try and control the results and outcomes. Ask these questions:

  • If I had no need to control, what possibilities could show up? 
  • If I would choose from limitless possibilities, what would I choose?

Are you willing to explore being out of control and see how much more can show up in your life?

Allowance:

Allowance is the greatest source of success. True allowance is when you have no judgements about yourself and your business. We are mostly taught that judging ourselves is the way to motivate ourselves to make changes, when actually the opposite – allowance – is true.

Next time you make a “mistake” or “fail,” or something doesn’t work out the way you’d like, rather than judge the situation or yourself, ask:

  • What’s right about this (and me) that I am not getting?
  • What did I gain from this I haven’t acknowledged?

Success is far more easily created when you are willing to receive the gift in every situation, even if it doesn’t look the way you think (judge) it should.  

If you knew there was no such thing as failure, if you never slowed yourself down by judging you, how much more could you accomplish?

What if you created from joy?

A lot of people would not put business and joy together, but it is actually the recipe that creates success. 

If you are not doing what you truly enjoy in your business – what would you have to change so that it was fun for you? Have more gratitude for you, your job or business? Ask more questions? Add something new? Do something different?

Having joy in your business is the greatest invitation you can give your clients and customers. If you have no joy with a product or service you sell, how can you expect others to buy something you don’t even like? 

To truly create and live the success you desire and deserve, you are going to have to be willing to have a lot more fun. You are going to have to stop being hard on you, and be grateful for you and acknowledge your strengths. You also will have to give up trying to solve problems and instead play with possibilities. The only thing is, this will make you very different from almost everyone you know.

You may have fun, joy and success beyond what people can fathom or understand. When you live rather than fight, you get to be unstoppable and irresistible. Are you willing to be that and not choose anything less?

Doris Schachenhofer is a business and communication coach, life mentor and facilitator for several Access Consciousness® special programs, including a pioneer for Joy of Business. She currently offers online workshops and consultations, serving clients all over the world. Drawing upon her nine years in social work, Doris seeks to break social paradigms around business, money and wealth creation. Follow Doris here and on Instagram.   

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