Self-doubt occurs when we are lacking in confidence or feeling incapable of doing things we need to do.
Self-doubt can be a troubling, consistent voice that bullies us into holding back from seizing opportunities.
It makes getting started or finishing things harder than they need to be.
When it comes to crushing your self-doubt, it’s easy to read and think about it. But doing those two things won’t help you let go of self-doubt.
How can you get around your self-doubt so you can move forward?
You have to be willing to take action consistently if you really want to live free. Here’s how to get started:
IDENTIFY YOUR SELF-DOUBT.
Choose one particular thing you doubt about yourself, that’s holding you back and that you’d like to change. Once you’ve picked this one thing, grab a sheet of paper and write down all of the bad things that will happen if you allow this self – doubt to reside within you.
For example, if you’re afraid to give a public talk, write that down. Then write down all the bad things that will happen if you were to give a public talk. Maybe you fear people will laugh at you or that no one wants/needs to hear what you have to say.
CHALLENGE YOUR FEARS.
Jia Jiang feared rejection, but one day, he decided that he was done. He wasn’t going to listen to his fear anymore. So he set out on a journey that he called 100 Days of Rejection. Each day, he would make a request that he was sure would be rejected. For example, he asked to borrow a hundred dollars from a stranger, dance with a waitress, and sit in a police driver’s car.
These activities might sound silly and they are. But they taught Jia how to overcome his fear of rejection. You can do the same thing and challenge your own fear. Go to a networking event and pitch your services. Reach out to some of your LinkedIn connections to see if they could use your services. Offer yourself as a free speaker at a local event. Register with a university to apply for a mature degree.
It’s important to do this because you’re re-training your mind about the consequences of your choices. Instead of thinking “rejection is the worst thing ever”, you’ll see that not only can you handle rejection, but that you actually have a lot to offer in the world.
A way to reframe this that helped me a lot when I feared rejection was to say over and over “Every rejection is a redirection, all that I want, wants me”
Don’t ever let your self-doubt spin out of control, always catch it when the first whisper appears…and remind yourself how many times in the past you were fearful of something and it all worked out fine. Self-doubt is like a gremlin living inside your head who wants to live there rent free and keep you stuck in your comfort zone so it doesn’t get kicked out.
ENLIST THE SUPPORT OF A FRIEND.
Keeping these doubts in your head keeps them in the dark and they become distorted…and if you indulge them you feed them and they expand. Let them out into the light, bust them, expose them, so you get a reality check from a friend.
Do NOT get stuck in the comparison trap as that will inflame the self- doubt. Compare yourself to yourself and how far you have come.
If you know someone that’s dealing with their own self-doubt, then it might be a good idea to team up together. Each month, you both pick a doubt that you’d like to let go of. Have weekly check-in calls to talk about your progress and setbacks. As you journey together, you’ll learn how to tackle your self -doubt and grow in exciting, new ways.
Don’t think that you have to overcome all of your self-limiting beliefs in a day or two. It does take time to let go of beliefs you’ve held for so long. Be patient with yourself during the process and keep a positive attitude. You can do this.
Listen to a daily podcast that inspires you, consider reading my book ‘the confidence factor’ to motivate you and to learn some tools and techniques that can bust your self -doubt.
WHO AM I?
I’m Annie Ashdown, Author, Success Coach, Speaker and Cognitive Hypnotherapist based in London. I write about everything I’ve done wrong as a woman personally and professionally whilst out there in the trenches.
I work with high achievers who want to conquer imposter syndrome, crush self -doubt, and de-escalate anxiety. I help them knock down the wall that’s causing them frustration and standing between them and their next level of success so they can get closer to the dream life they’ve set their sights on.
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This piece was originally posted on www.annieashdown.com