“It was not until I learned to deeply listen to my heart and soul that I was able to hear the wisdom of my children.”
Has this happened to you? You are talking to someone and realize they are actually not listening to what you are saying. Or even worse, you are talking and do not notice they are not listening. Nearly one third of all conversations lack effective talking and listening skills. The outcome of these types of conversations are obvious. Little to nothing gets accomplished. Imagine what it would be like if every time you share your feelings, intentions and needs with others that you achieved the intended outcome. What would that mean to your relationships, your work and your state of mind? Soulful listening and talking changed my entire life. To manifest your intentions quickly and effectively you must become a master of listening and talking. I learned this power from my three daughters.
I have three beautiful daughters, Heather, Ashley and Hannah. Back in 2004, we began a painful journey together to create a new and purposeful relationship. Their mom and I were getting divorced so all of our lives changed radically. It was a sudden and traumatic turn of events for their young hearts and souls.
I began the journey lost, confused and traumatized. I could only imagine how they were feeling. The conflict that ensued with their mother and I only made matters worse. Early on when we were together I realized that I was not communicating well. I would share a few ideas, or ask them questions. There was either silence or the obligatory, “I don’t know.”
I tried everything to communicate. I was curious about their school, their friends and their lives in general. We went to the park, the mountains, the bowling alley, sporting events and so on, and still, I was unable to get though. At times, I felt like giving up. Their mother was not supportive but it was not her fault. I needed to take radical responsibility.
In my psychology class at UC Berkeley, I learned that it was up to the communicator to communicate. I finally realized that I was not talking
nor listening to my children. I was talking at them and listening only to what I wanted to hear. Instead of fostering a real dialogue, I was communicating with a monologue. I thought first about what I needed to say and not about they needed to say to me. The “me first” approach was driven by my own pain. When I switched off the need to speak from a place of pain and instead listened from my heart and soul, our relationship changed entirely. We began to smile, share our feelings and listen to each other on a soul level. We began to practice soulful listening and talking.
So, what does it mean to practice soulful listening and talking? Before we do a deep dive, I would like to share my experience about the soul. What is it and how can you get in touch with it? At this point it does not matter if you are in touch with you soul. The most important thing is that you are open to the idea of having a soul and desire to explore its power and importance in your everyday life.
The soul, being abstract and non-specific does not come into the body or any other physical form. It is not born nor does it die. As such, the soul is eternal, immortal, and infinite. It does not exist in a time space reality. It does not die and it is interconnected with everything in the universe. You are not a body, mind, or spirit. You are a soul. The body does not house the soul, the soul houses the body. And the soul connects the body and spirit. It carries the full memory and experiential imprints from your entire lifetime, including any Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). These events when left hidden and unhealed, prevent us from listening and talking from the soul.
Your soul transcends what ancient cultures refer to as Maya, the illusion of the pain and suffering that occurs in our everyday life. They also say, our inner life projects itself onto our outer life experience. In other words, your life in the outer world is a reflection of your life in the inner world. When your inner life is disconnected from the soul, your outer life can feel like a living hell. I know this first hand. Remembering your soul and learning to get in touch with your “soul nature”, is the sole purpose in life. When this happens you will see, hear and communicate in an entirely new way.
When you learn to listen to your soul, you can, in turn, listen to other people’s souls. Becoming the master of the soul will change your relationships, work, wellness and mindset for forever. I can help you learn to recognize the voice of your soul and the power of listening deeply to your inner truth and that of others.
When I turned 42 I had it all, the money, the big house, the sports car, and a beautiful family yet I was not at peace, so I went on a vision quest to the mountains to do some soul searching. I got lost in the pine trees, sat on the moist ground, nearly fell off a cliff, and rode the winds. One sunny morning, as I sat on the deck watching big puffy clouds go by, I was consumed by all the birds chirping away. Before I knew it, all I heard was the sound of the birds. It was like a grand symphony. Mother Nature was playing the sweet songs of Love.
Her Love song consumed my every thought and heart beat. I closed my eyes and became one with Her melody. I listened to listen. What was she saying beyond the thousands of chirps, I asked myself? I heard the answer almost immediately, “There are two voices that listen. One is in the head, the other is in the soul. One tells you what to hear, the other listens to the Love of another. Listen with the one ear of the soul.”
I had no idea where that answer came from. Was I going insane? Now I am hearing a voice, perhaps I am losing it? I decided to put this wisdom to the test. As I tuned into the birds, I let go of my belief that they were just birds making noise. I felt my heart and began to send love to them. I was moved to tears feeling the joy of my heart connecting to the joyful chirps of their heart. We were connected in a field of Love. I was so inspired by this way of listening, I decided to take it one step further. I sent a message out from my heart, I softly whispered, “Let’s be quite together.” After a breath I repeated, “Let’s be quite together.” Suddenly, to my utter dismay, the bird chatter begin to wane and grew silent. Not a bird was chirping. And then out of nowhere, a tiny baby bird let out a lonely chirp. I laughed in utter joy.
This soulful listening and talking fosters not only love but joy. Having read and studied many traditions and with many masters, I thought to myself that there is no wiser soul on earth then that of the soul sage within each of us. Learning how to listen to the soul sage within you requires nothing at all. Every human has the ability to listen from the one ear of their soul.
What is required to make this happen? I can help you learn to recognize the voice of your soul and the power of listening deeply to your inner truth and that of others.
You must turn off the ego voice in the head. The ego always speaks first, it listens for what it wants to hear, and projects that into everything in the outer world. It hears only what it can see and define. This ego voice is the voice that separates you from your true voice.
It’s always the loudest and acts defensively. Paradoxically, you must learn to un-listen to ego and unlearn its way of communicating. When you do this, the wisdom, knowledge and abundance of the Universe will effortlessly flow through you to help your achieve the most optimal outcome for all concerned. These tips will help you to unlearn the ego’s listening system and learn that of the soul.
Soulful listening and talking are a choice. No person or circumstance can take away your right to choose. The choice between the ego’s voice or the souls voice begins by taking a pause before your speak. Listen to what the other person is saying and acknowledge them from a place of gratitude.
May the Genius in you soulfully listen and talk with all those you touch to manifest your most heartfelt intentions.