You Are Enough! We all have challenges. We all struggle at times with feeling enough. Whether it be with our health, career, relationships, etc. but it is how we deal with these challenges that allows us to either stay stuck or begin creating the life we truly desire! The You Are Enough movement would create confidence and clarity for people to BOLDLY take the next big step in their life. My vision for the movement would for people to live wholeheartedly with courage and a burning curiosity, to have an open heart to life’s struggles for reflection and growth, to nourish the mind and body that provides us life, to love selflessly and unconditionally, to live intensely with purpose and every single day believe they are ENOUGH!
For my series on strong female founders, I had the pleasure of interviewing, Megan R. Fenyoe. Megan is a Veteran, Licensed Clinical Social Worker (LCSW), Best Selling Author, Professional Speaker and Host of The Blonde Bombshell Podcast. Being a Mental Heath Therapist for over 15 years as well as a Transformational Mindset Coach, Megan will transform your negative self-talk into positive self- empowerment believing you are ENOUGH!
Thank you so much for doing this with us! Can you tell us a story about what brought you to this specific career path?
Over the last few years, I’ve really come to understand what the word “vulnerable” truly means for me. To be vulnerable is going out- side of my proverbial comfort zone — sharing the struggles and the hardships that I’ve had in my life. Why? Because what I’ve learned is that people really resonant with others who are authentic. We all have struggles. We all have hardships. If my story can make a difference in just one person’s life, then I say bring it! Bring on the uncomfortable-nerve-racking-butterflies-in-my-stomach type of feelings.
In 2016, while working full time in a hospital, I began to feel this nudging in my soul to do something more with my life, but I couldn’t figure out what that something was. I was feeling stuck and lost. I began a network marketing business, as well as a private mental health practice — all while working full time at the hospital. I thought that being busy was the nudging feeling, but little did I know, I was running away from the pain and heartache I was enduring.
Although I am an LCSW and a Transformational Mindset Coach, I also know first hand how difficult it can be when life seems to be crumbling around a person and how negative thoughts can control every area of one’s life. I understand how difficult it can be at times just to get out of bed in the morning. Feeling lost, alone, confused, and scared. My personal journey through countless disappointments and defeats began early in childhood, and continued even while writing my book.
I was able to finally put a name to those nudging feelings. I made the decision to take a job transfer, which required me to move from Northern California to San Diego. Again, I thought this was what my heart and soul wanted; yet once I arrived in San Diego, I was feeling even more restless. I quickly learned that what I truly wanted was to get out of my J-O-B and out of the monotonous cycle of a 10–12 hour shift in a hospital. I wanted to own my life and my schedule. I wanted to work for myself by changing lives, not by changing the life of the person I was working for. I was tired of making money for the CEOs. I wanted to be the CEO — the CEO of my life.
The decision was quickly made for me in September 2017 (a few short months after moving to San Diego) when my job status changed involuntarily. I found myself with no job and no more six-figure salary. The stability I had for so many years was just ripped away. I was left with nothing, except for my network marketing business, which I was truly grateful for.
I looked at “losing” as my defeat. I’ve never lost a job until this. I found myself playing the victim role, but now as I sit here and write this book, losing my job was the best thing that could’ve ever happened to me. I could’ve easily found another high paying, stable, and full time job, but instead I took a leap of faith in order to pursue my dreams!
Writing a book ad been on my bucket list for many years and I’ve had hundreds of different ideas of what I wanted my book to be about. I was always unsure of how to make it happen. Then during the early morning hours on January 5, 2017, I had a dream (you will have to read the book to hear about the dream). This was the dream that ushered me outside of my comfort zone. It is where I began to visualize the life I truly desired. I believe it was God telling me to take a leap of faith and just begin writing. I did just that, and the rest is…well history!
What does it mean for you to live “on purpose”? Can you explain? How can one achieve that?
To me, living on purpose means a person who experiences struggles but is still able to find the courage and confidence to step into their greatness. They unapologetically own who they are and boldly go after the life they have always dreamed of.
Do you have an example or story in your own life of how your pain helped to guide you to finding your life’s purpose?
I wrote my first book because it became a burning need to change my own life. I have gone through many struggles throughout in my life most recently being involved in a narcissistic abusive marriage (don’t worry you can read all the juicy details in my book). Of course on the outside I looked like I had it all together but I was dying inside. For many years I was living a life without meaning and purpose.
I struggled with this mindset for years — especially when it came to my ex-husband. I always thought I wasn’t good enough, because if I was, he never would’ve had an affair. He never would’ve divorced me. This was the hardest to change; to change my thoughts of not being good enough to I am enough.
When the last brutal discord occurred between Mr. “N” and me, I had no more ability to soothe internal trauma. I could no longer manage it. There was nothing more I could do, except to release the trauma. To get rid of the dirty and awful toxicity that was left inside of me. This included going back to therapy. Before, I was trying to heal on my own. This is also the time that I started writing my book. It was time for me to finally free myself. To begin picking up the pieces and moving forward. There was nothing left for me to do, but to stand back up, take that first step, and to begin my journey to move from struggle to strength!
Writing my book was my saving grace. It transformed my life. I rediscovered myself in my writing. I never expected to become a best selling author. I wrote for my own personal healing.
I also practiced reality testing my thoughts every… single… day multiple times a day to combat that thought of not being good enough by reminding myself of the good things about myself and the good things happening in my life. No matter what happens in my life — good, bad, or down right awful — I am the only one who can make myself feel “not good enough.” I can now say with 100% certainty that I am enough for me, and that is all that matters.
The United States is currently rated at #18 in the World Happiness Report. Can you share a few reasons why you think the ranking is so low?
When I wrote my book I interviewed people asking such questions, such as where in life did they feel stuck (or have felt stuck before) and what did they feel was missing from their life.
The resounding theme I heard when talking to people was lack of excitement, passion, meaning, and time in their life. This is why I believe people are so unhappy in the United States. Many people go through life without ever finding their true passion. They sit in traffic or on the bus each day and try to make ends meet. They work to pay the mortgage and for groceries — not because they are excited about their jobs or because they feel they are making a difference, but rather to meet expectations and obligations.
It’s admirable to follow through on your responsibilities, but it is so important choose to take responsible action with passion and purpose. When you do something you love deeply, chances are you may become motivated and good at what you are doing. You will also be more inclined to make a decent living out of doing what you love and this in turn creates happiness.
How have you used your success to bring goodness to the world?
When I courageously share my story I believe that story empowers others to live boldly no matter what they are holding on to whether it’s fear, insecurity or trauma, I believe I show people how to let it go and confidently pursue your dreams.
I believe my authenticity and vulnerability has allowed others to begin to talk about their own struggles which has allowed them to take that first step towards healing and believing they are enough!
What are your 6 strategies to help you face your day with exuberance, “Joie De Vivre” and a “ravenous thirst for life”? Can you please give a story or example for each?
Morning routines are so important when it comes to overall happiness. In my book I share some examples that can help you jump start your mornings, including how to immediately have more energy, how to have more clarity and awareness, and how to reduce stress and anxiety. Some examples are:
1. Breathing. Sit comfortably with your back straight. Count 1–2–3–4 while taking a deep breath in, then counting 1–2- 3–4 when breathing out. Breathe in through your nose and out through your mouth. Do this 10–15 times.
2. Fuel your body. Drink three full glasses of water.
3. Gratitude. Simply close your eyes. Put your hand on your heart, and visualize 3–5 things/people you are grateful for. Another option is to write a gratitude list in your journal.
4. Practice affirmations and positive self-talk. Start by following one simple rule: don’t say anything to yourself that you wouldn’t say to anyone else. Be gentle and encouraging with yourself. If a negative thought enters your mind, evaluate it rationally, and respond with affirmations of what is good about you. Think about things you’re thankful for in your life.
5. Manifestation. Make a dedication for the day. This could be an emotional state you want to bring forth within you (courage, love, patience, gratitude) or a higher intention for the 24 hours ahead of you (to show kindness, face fears, or focus on your goals). Refer to the Questions to Empower Your Day in the appendix section of this book for more ideas on how to manifest each day!
6. Love energy. Write an acronym or symbol for your daily dedication on the back of your hand, or put it as your phone screensaver using an app like Word Swag or A Beautiful Mess. It will serve as your gentle reminder throughout the day to stay on track, and to not get lost down rabbit holes that don’t match who you are or your vision for your dream life.
A while back, I ran across a story about Jim Carrey, the famous comedic actor. In a blog post in Neatorama.com, the author wrote about how Jim was a broke and struggling thespian once upon a time, so he took a blank check and made it out to himself. He wrote it in the amount of $10 million. He dated it 10 years from that moment. Each day he looked at his “trigger card” and knew that he would achieve his goal. In a decade, he was earning more than $10 million.
In the same way, you can use numerous things as your “trigger card.” Making a trigger card is one of the best ways that has made a profound difference in my life. I’m able to interpret negative, toxic thoughts and to get back on track towards achieving my biggest goals at the moment. As Anthony Robbins once said, “Begin to live as though your prayers are already answered.”
Do you have any favorite books, podcasts, or resources that most inspired you to live with a thirst for life?
Anything from and she has been a mentor of mine for so many years (although she doesn’t know me personally…it is on my bucket list to meet her one day!). Brene’s teachings of vulnerability, authenticity and empathy literally have changed my life. I have learned that it is ok to be authentically me and unapologetically own who I am.
Is it wrong to say my podcast? LOL. I am inspired every single time I interview a powerful women on the Blonde Bombshell Podcast. I get excited and motivated to continue to work towards my goals when I hear their amazing stories of moving from struggles into their strength.
As a Mental Health Therapist I have a lot of resources that I personally use as well as my clients. One of favorite things is my “All of the good things” jar. It is simply a mason jar and I have little cards sitting next to it and I will write down good things that have happened throughout that year. I have my friends leave notes in thier as well. Throughout the year I see the jar with all of these colorful pieces of paper and it reminds me that even though I may hit bumps in the road life truly is a blessing. I collect the cards throughout the year and read them every New Years Eve!
Can you please give us your favorite “Life Lesson Quote” that relates to having a Joie De Vivre? Can you share how that was relevant to you in your life?
You are ENOUGH just as you are,
regardless of whatever season you’re in,
and the more you celebrate and focus on that,
the more you will live your STRENGTH!
— Megan R. Fenyoe, LCSW
This is a quote that I wrote for my book and it is so relevant in my life because I’m finally the person I was striving so hard to become for so many years, yet was never able to fully evolve into that person before because I was letting my fear and my limiting beliefs to keep me stuck. My fear was killing my dreams. My fear was killing my hope. My fear was holding me back from doing the things I knew within myself I was capable of doing. Fear had me paralyzed.
I finally took control of my. I have finally emerged from the mud and into a new sense of being. A new sense of victory and excitement. I can finally say that I am so thankful for the struggles I have endured because they have allowed me to truly become the person I was always meant to be. This quote reminds me to give myself grace and to remember that I ENOUGH!
Are you working on any exciting new projects now? How do you think that will help people?
I am currently revamping some of my coaching programs as well as growing my speaking career. I am most excited about traveling around the country sharing my story in hopes to support and encourage others to believe they are more than ENOUGH!
You are a person of great influence. If you could inspire a movement that would bring the most amount of good to the most amount of people, what would that be? You never know what your idea can trigger. 🙂
The “You Are Enough” movement! We all have challenges. We all struggle at times with feeling enough. Whether it be with our health, career, relationships, etc. but it is how we deal with these challenges that allows us to either stay stuck or begin creating the life we truly desire! The You Are Enough movement would create confidence and clarity for people to BOLDY take the next big step in their life.
My vision for the movement would for people to live wholeheartedly with courage and a burning curiosity, to have an open heart to life’s struggles for reflection and growth, to nourish the mind and body that provides us life, to love selflessly and unconditionally, to live intensely with purpose and every single day believe they are ENOUGH!
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