You may have sat down and made a list of resolutions, set some powerful intentions, or decided on your Word of The Year (mine is Kindness!)
In order to make any headway on your list of resolutions and personal goals, you first need to be grounded in how you want to live and what this looks and feels like.
REMEMBER: Resolutions focus on actions. Intentions focus on attitudes.
Far too often, WHO we want to BE becomes the afterthought or byproduct of a hurried and frazzled life that is so focused on WHAT we need to DO.
What if we decided to live this year differently?
What would be possible then?
Last spring, we introduced the concept of enhancing your Emotional Endurance and how it connects to living with more integrity. Now let’s look at this through the lens of developing resilience so whatever the year ahead brings, we can develop character through our behavior.
To recap, Emotional Endurance is the dynamic capacity you develop to deal with life’s stresses and challenges with an attitude of possibility and resilience.
When you experience some not-so-fun circumstances in life, you are met with a choice: React and retaliate or intentionally respond.
Practicing and developing Emotional Endurance in times of stress and setback allow you to build more resilience over your lifetime, starting with our young children.
Jack Shonkoff, director of the Center on the Developing Child at Harvard, shares that “resilience depends on supportive, responsive relationships and mastering a set of capabilities that can help us respond and adapt to adversity in healthy ways.” Shinkoff chaired a multidisciplinary collaboration called the National Scientific Council on the Developing Child that looked at how children develop resilience over their early years and here’s what they found:
You can start developing resilience in your earliest interaction with young children. Here are our top five recommendations for developing resilience in your children:
1. Allowing your child to try something before you step in to do it for them.
Examples: Feeding themselves, putting on their socks and shoes, opening the plastic around those tiny juice box straws and putting it in the juice box
2. Offering support and encouragement when something doesn’t go as planned
Examples: When your favorite toy is being used by another child at school, when a friend gets sick and cannot come over to play, when it’s too rainy or cold to play outside
3. Intentionally exposing children to safe challenges without fear of failure or punishment
Examples: Going down the playground slide alone, writing their name on a paper as they learn their letters, learning how to build new friendship at school
4. Affirming positive capacities you see your children already practicing, while providing scaffolding opportunities to expand their skills
Examples: Praising your child for sharing their trains with a friend and encouraging him to let his friend play with his favorite train next time
5. Modeling positive behavior and emotional response when YOU experience a setback or don’t get your desired outcome (remember, you are their best example of resilience!)
Examples: When you’re stuck in traffic and late, when your spouse/partner forgets to do the laundry and there are no clean underwear, when you’re stressed and rushing
Your emotions turn into thoughts that influence your actions, forming behavioral patterns that become habits and ultimately shape your character. Choose wisely.
Be the Revolution,
Originally published at leadwithintention.com on January 1, 2019.
Leslie M. Bosserman, M.Ed., CPCC, is an Executive Coach + Lifestyle Strategist designing customized leadership solutions for Millennial Leaders and their Managers. With a background in strengths-based leadership development and applied positive psychology, she runs a multi-disciplinary practice called Lead With Intention where she coaches, trains, and consults with clients around the world.
Leslie works with a variety of clients ranging from top executives at worldwide corporations to creative entrepreneurs and non-profit teams. She is an avid artist who also enjoys traveling, karaoke, cooking ethnic food, writing in local coffee shops, and practicing yoga. She also recently launched The Makers Place™ — Sacramento’s first professional coworking space with onsite childcare!
Leslie lives in Northern California and travels internationally for coaching, organizational trainings, and retreat facilitation. You can connect with her onFacebook, Twitter, Instagram, Pinterest, and Medium or send her an email at [email protected]to learn how to partner together.