Here’s a little story created to help you understand the importance of boundaries and how it relates to “staying in your own court.”
It’s been reported that tennis legend Billie Jean King told Martina Navratilova a valuable piece of advice prior to entering a difficult tennis match. She quietly looked Martina in the eye and told her the following four tips. Remarkably, these four tips for a successful tennis match can also be adapted to highlight the skills and daily life strategies of a resilient person and for those of us who are trying to stay balanced during COVID-19.
- Slow down. As you slow down you will learn to respond rather than react to situations and other people. Reacting is an automatic habitual action caused by a stimulus; responding on the other hand, is an action you take after listening to your inner voice. Give yourself permission to act from your inner strength and trust your intuition.
- Keep your eye on the ball. As you learn to keep your mind (and heart) on the ball, you will begin to pay attention to what really matters to you. Focus on your game plan. Look at the present circumstance and don’t let other issues, old messages and past habitual behavior distract you from your path. Be cautious that you don’t worry about the other people and lose focus or abandon your values, beliefs, and intuition. Learn to keep your eye on the ball and your pathway clear of obstacles.
- Stay in your own court. Stay focused on your own game plan and be watchful of enabling or being fixated on caregiving or “fixing” things for other people. When you caretake you are playing on the other side of the net. It is as if you have invaded the other person’s boundaries and grabbed the racket out of their hand. Resilient people know how to maintain boundaries and are aware of the importance of staying true to themselves.
- Play your own game. When you abandon yourself you tend to react to life based on reactions and you find yourself acting out of character, or in opposition to your inner voice. Your game plan is to become aware of your needs, wants, and values and make decisions based on what is consisent with your journey. Resilient people know their strengths and use them to successfully face adverse or stressful situations. (Miller, J. My Holding You Up Is Holding Me Back, HCI Publications, Inc.)
The important aspect of building strategies to build your resiliency is to create action plans with small attainable goals. Take a few moments and consider some tips for creating a meaningful change in your life.
- Which one of the four tips stands out as a barrier to your pursuit of a healthy life?
- Which technique is a key concept that could enhance your resiliency the most?
- How can you integrate this concept into your daily life?
- It is important that you have a means of keeping “score” of your successes. How will you know if you are playing your own game?
Resilient people know that establishing a plan for “staying in their own court “and maintaining their boundaries is essential to facing the stress and adversity in today’s challenging situaions.
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