Community//

Relationship Series: Keeping the Love Through Tough Times

Couples face so many challenges along the way, it’s a wonder anyone stays together. Whether it is finances, co-parenting, insecurity or any number of other issues, staying strong together through the tough times can be a pretty tall order. Inevitably there will be ups and downs, but there are some ways you can work together […]

image by pixabay
image by pixabay

Couples face so many challenges along the way, it’s a wonder anyone stays together.

Whether it is finances, co-parenting, insecurity or any number of other issues, staying strong together through the tough times can be a pretty tall order.

Inevitably there will be ups and downs, but there are some ways you can work together to power through the difficult times in your relationship.

You may even come out stronger on the other side.

How to survive arguments in marriage and relationships?

Don’t make assumptions:

During difficult times, it can be easy to jump to conclusions about what one another is thinking or feeling. Resist the temptation to assume. Ask simple, straight-forward questions like “how are you feeling?” “and “do you want to talk about what’s on your mind?” Assuming you already know what or how the other is feeling can be a set up for misunderstanding and disconnect.

Schedule timed check-ins:

Sometimes a conversation needs to happen in a relationship, and it is difficult to find “the right time.” If times are tough in your relationship, schedule conversations every day (one hour, for example). If this time is set aside for talking about tough subjects, the “right time” will automatically be available to avoid lingering resentments.

Look for opportunities to praise and nurture:

Make an agreement with yourself that each day you will seek out ways to show your love and affection to your partner.

Look for the things you love about your partner, even the simple things, and point them out.

Make an agreement about physical touch and connection:

Often during tough times, physical closeness and affection can be the first thing to go. Talk about your need for physical touch.

Try to come to an agreement about being more physical, whether it is simple hand holding, back rubs or a hug. Human touch is so important and when you’re facing hard times is when you need it most.

Time alone/time together:

Be sure to give yourself a healthy balance of time alone and time with each other.

Spending time alone can help you get reacquainted with your own thoughts and feelings. Having alone time with your partner can help with reconnection and friendship.

Check your expectations:

Examine your expectations of your partnership. Your relationship shouldn’t meet every need you have and sometimes we forget this fact. Are there needs for connection and friendship that you can have met through other friends or peer groups?

Do you find yourself relying on your partner for self-esteem? Relying primarily on your partner for self-worth and validation puts undue pressure on the relationship.

Challenge yourself to identify things you like about yourself every day, independent of your relationship.

Some issues may require the help of a professional marriage relationship counselor. Teyhou offers online counseling or e-counseling in London and Los Angeles. Find someone who is experienced in couples work, Teyhou has several published on the topic of love and relationships. It may feel risky to bring your challenges to a stranger, but remember, therapists are trained, confidential and objective. Your information is safe and you may gain valuable perspective from someone outside of the situation.

The Thrive Global Community welcomes voices from many spheres. We publish pieces written by outside contributors with a wide range of opinions, which don’t necessarily reflect our own. Learn more or join us as a community member!
Share your comments below. Please read our commenting guidelines before posting. If you have a concern about a comment, report it here.

You might also like...

Mihal Sviridenko / EyeEm / Getty Images
Wisdom//

21 Real Couples Reveal How They Keep the Spark Alive in Their Relationship

by Kristin Salaky
Wisdom//

Why My Marriage Was the Best Contract I Ever Signed

by Pauline Harley
Well-Being//

I Asked a Relationship Expert About The Secrets to a Happy Marriage

by Eric Barker

Sign up for the Thrive Global newsletter

Will be used in accordance with our privacy policy.

Thrive Global
People look for retreats for themselves, in the country, by the coast, or in the hills . . . There is nowhere that a person can find a more peaceful and trouble-free retreat than in his own mind. . . . So constantly give yourself this retreat, and renew yourself.

- MARCUS AURELIUS

We use cookies on our site to give you the best experience possible. By continuing to browse the site, you agree to this use. For more information on how we use cookies, see our Privacy Policy.