Many things *thankfully* skip generations. For some reason, relationship advice just isn’t one of them. I’ve been given countless relationship tips that have been passed down from family members and friends alike… and while it comes from the right place, a lot of the advice is simply outdated. Many people view their parents as #RelationshipGoals and therefore take any tips or advice given to them as the gold standard. But, times are changing, and relationships coming out of newer generations are proving that. I’m here to tell you that some of the tips your parents have told you regarding relationships are just not true.
Parents just want what’s best for their kids and rightfully so. This means that your mom and dad’s relationship advice is biased towards, well, you. I know, a bubble just burst and a light went off at the top of your head. It’s true though – if your parents want what’s best for you and if they don’t think your current partner is it, they will tailor relationship advice around the idea that it’s best to break up, even if that’s not what you want. If you are single and dating, your parents will want you to do it safely.
Here are my favorite pieces of advice parents give their kids that just aren’t true anymore (or… never were)!
- Don’t move in with your boyfriend/girlfriend. Many parents stand by this tired rule that you should not move in with your partner until you are engaged. This is seriously outdated – living with someone gives you an inside look into who they really are and every flaw they may have. Moving in with your significant other gives you both the opportunity to grow as a couple and share any surprises before it may be too late.
- Don’t make the first move. I mean… guys… it’s 2019, your gender should NOT dictate if you approach someone you are attracted to. In a recent eharmony study, 66% of the happiest and most successful heterosexual relationships started with the woman making the first move… go figure!
- Play hard to get. Games aren’t fun when you’re playing them with/against someone you are starting to care about. The cliche may be that men, in particular, love the chase, but in reality, most people want to know exactly how you actually feel when you feel it. If you know you want to be with someone, tell them. Don’t let them wonder.
- You can’t date someone your parents don’t like. Raise your hand if you’ve dated someone your parents don’t love! Is it awkward? Definitely. Is it the end of the world? No. While your parents want what’s best for you, sometimes they really don’t know what that is… only you do. People often judge a book by its cover… if you believe your partner is right for you, your parents will learn to love them over time.
- You can’t date someone your parents don’t like. Raise your hand if you’ve dated someone your parents don’t love! Is it awkward? Definitely. Is it the end of the world? No. While your parents want what’s best for you, sometimes they really don’t know what that is… only you do. People often judge a book by its cover… if you believe your partner is right for you, your parents will learn to love them over time.
There are so many other myths that were floating around in my head that I wanted to include, but I think every single one of us has dealt with at least one of the five I included. I don’t want anyone to think that if you don’t do any of these things that you are wrong or your relationship is doomed. I see the newer generations falling in love and following their own arrow instead of the one their parents dreamt up for them and I am so inspired.
At the end of the day, advice is helpful, but not something to base your entire relationship and future on. What works for one couple, your parents included, may not work for you and your partner and that’s 100% okay! You need to find a balance with your partner that fits your relationship and your lives.
The biggest relationship myth I believe needs to be debunked is that every relationship is similar… they aren’t and never will be.