An astonishing 1 in 4 women and 1 in 7 men have according to the ncadv.org been victims of physical violence by an intimate partner. Throw in the millions more who suffer in emotional abusive relationships, and you have an almost epidemic on our hands. If you are strong enough to leave these unhealthy relationships, you will know that often this is just the tip of the iceberg in the healing process of an abuse survivor.
The first step to recovery is where possible seeking counseling or therapy, there are a multitude of professionals who can help guide you through this difficult time. Besides professional help there are a multitude of things you can do on a daily basis to aid in the healing process.
1. Realize and then forgive yourself for not seeing these people for who they were before beginning a relationship. The truth is they are often charming and charismatic, and tend to hide some of their true persona until we are already emotionally attached to them in some way. Forgiveness releases the anger associated with self blame.
2. Eat well and exercise, a large part of how we feel on a daily basis is in what we put into our body and how we treat our body. Alcohol, fatty foods, too many sugars and carbs, combined with not enough nutrients, do not create a great environment for a healthy body or mind. Exercise helps us look great but more importantly feel great.
3. Do at least one daily positive things for ourselves, daily positive action, no matter how small can make huge progress over time, if you improve your life 1% a day in a year that is still a 365% improvement.
4. Speak kindly to yourself, often our psyche and ego is shattered after abuse, we have often listened to many negative condescending things about yourself. It is easy over time to feel that maybe there is truth to the abuser words. We need on a daily basis to drive these words and thoughts from our mind. Use daily positive words of affirmation, I am enough, I am worthy, I am beautiful. I promise you over time and with some work you can reprogram your mind, to believe these positive things.
5. Stay positive, it is often hard after a break up of any kind to stay positive, but remember that in leaving an abusive relationship of any kind you have already won, you have already used your strength and regained control of your life. It is a huge victory to get to now build your new life anyway you wish.
6. Let go of anger, anger is a tough one to let go of, but does more damage over time to you than to the person you resent. Remember you are forgiving someone else and moving on not for them, but for your own well being.
7. Focus all energy on building your new life, yesterday has no place in our lives any more, so why let it affect your future by continuing to focus on it?
We in life make a lot of mistakes, in love and in relationships, once we leave, we can focus on a healthy positive life. This makes us well on our way to a happier place. It isn’t easy but it is doable by everyone, with a little self love, and daily positive actions.
The national domestic abuse hotline-1-800-799-7233
For more on my story-My Dreams Recycled