Community//

Raising Someone Else’s Kids

Raising kids may not have been in your life's plan, but sometimes, you just have to roll with it.

“Do you have kids?”

When you are raising someone else’s kids, how do you answer that? Technically, yes. But you can’t always go into detail about your situation nor would you want to, right? Very few people are interested in the gritty details. You either have kids or you don’t. Which is it?

If you are raising someone else’s kids, they may not be yours as in the normal way one has kids, but, in all other ways, yes, you sure do have kids.

And, here’s why.

When someone plays too rough outside and falls off a skateboard, tumbles over a basketball, or skids off a bike, you make sure you are there to wipe the blood, clean the wound, and dry the tears.

… you make sure you are there…

When someone feels beat down after a rough day at school or gets frustrated with a homework assignment, you speak uplifting words and provide encouragement.

When someone has a favorite breakfast, you go out of your way to make sure it is available in the morning.

When someone has interests, goals, and the like, you do what you can to guide their pursuit. You let them explore the things that matter to them.

You brag about them.

When they do well, you praise them.

When they make a poor choice, you correct them.

When a kid gets excited about something, you feel yourself getting excited, too.

You brag about them.

You show up for them.

You sing with them, act goofy, and have your own inside jokes.

You do what you can to not let them down. And, if you ever accidentally do, you beat yourself up for it long past the time they’ve stopped thinking about it.

You make sacrifices to see them smile.

You hug and kiss them goodnight.

And, by all means, you tell them you love them.

All of these things? This is what a good parent does. And, if you find yourself doing them too – then you are the parent of your kids. It doesn’t matter how they came into your care, whether by marriage, a family member, the foster system, etc. Raising a child means showing up and getting your hands dirty.

Raising a child means showing up and getting your hands dirty.

You will have frustrating days. You will probably even get angry. Let’s be honest, you are doing a job that you may not have planned for while that someone else is out pursuing dreams (or something else not as positive). So, if you are the one raising someone else’s kids, you ought to be commended. One day someone is going to thank you for stepping up to the plate when no one else would.

It doesn’t matter who had the darn kids – you raise them as if you did.

Raising someone else’s kids should be no different than raising your own biological children. Moral of the story? It doesn’t matter who had the darn kids – you raise them as if you did. You treat them as if they are yours. And you love the heck out of them.

    The Thrive Global Community welcomes voices from many spheres. We publish pieces written by outside contributors with a wide range of opinions, which don’t necessarily reflect our own. Learn more or join us as a community member!
    Share your comments below. Please read our commenting guidelines before posting. If you have a concern about a comment, report it here.

    You might also like...

    Wisdom//

    This Is How To Raise Emotionally Intelligent Kids, According to Research

    by Eric Barker
    Community//

    A new anthem for parents

    by Michal Levison
    Community//

    Staying Sane While Taking Care of Your Family and Aging Parents – There is a Way

    by Sarah Kaminski

    Sign up for the Thrive Global newsletter

    Will be used in accordance with our privacy policy.

    Thrive Global
    People look for retreats for themselves, in the country, by the coast, or in the hills . . . There is nowhere that a person can find a more peaceful and trouble-free retreat than in his own mind. . . . So constantly give yourself this retreat, and renew yourself.

    - MARCUS AURELIUS

    We use cookies on our site to give you the best experience possible. By continuing to browse the site, you agree to this use. For more information on how we use cookies, see our Privacy Policy.