Pushing Through Abuse From the Past

How facing the abuse from our past can free up our future.

The Thrive Global Community welcomes voices from many spheres on our open platform. We publish pieces as written by outside contributors with a wide range of opinions, which don’t necessarily reflect our own. Community stories are not commissioned by our editorial team and must meet our guidelines prior to being published.
Photo by Anh Nguyen on Unsplash

How do people overcome early childhood abuse and make it to adulthood in relatively decent mental health, still standing and speaking rationally? Those hurdles in life can lay us low or be the foundation to stand on to forge ahead. There’s no way to say why it goes one way and not the other. If we push the pain away without confronting it. we risk our behavior going awry because it is always lurking under the surface of our conscious minds. I do think one important way to handle the misery is to face ugly memories and do self-examination.

I process certain obstacles through my writing. Celia, the protagonist of my book The Cha-Cha Babes of Pelican Way, has a background of mental abuse, but in an insidious way. Her parents might have given the appearance of being just overprotective but their isolating and control of Celia’s life did much damage to her sense of self-worth. This was continued in her marriage. (It brings to mind the reasons we sometimes choose the person with the worst traits of our parents/caretakers, but that is for another article.) Gabe, her husband, was controlling and demeaned her as much as he could without physically hurting her. Nonetheless, the damage to her image was hurtful and contributed to her spinning into a spiral of failure. It was injurious to her daughter and herself. This isn’t just a work of fiction, it is a pattern that replays itself over and over in many lives every day.

Celia’s decision to start a new life in a retirement community in Florida after Gabe died was a life-changer. She began to look into her self and realized that only she could make herself happy, and slowly clawed her way out of her stupor of defeat. She learned the Cha-Cha with two best friends and turned her life around. It never fails to amaze me when people rise up and make their lives more contented and so many have. That is commendable to be able to examine where we came from and where we are at present. Perhaps if one faces those ugly demons from the past, deals with it and hurls themselves into a better future they can come out standing on two feet and smiling. Memories of the abuse may never go away but they can recede with enough work. And it is work. Hopefully, the anguish will dim.

Share your comments below. Please read our commenting guidelines before posting. If you have a concern about a comment, report it here.

You might also like...


Trish French of Trish French Therapy: “Know the value you provide”

by Karina Michel Feld

Stop Guilt-Tripping People into Further Abuse

by Maggie's DIY a.k.a Njuguna Maggie

Social Impact Heroes: How Author Mannette Morgan Is Helping To Stop The Cycle Of Abuse In Our Society

by Alexandra Spirer

Sign up for the Thrive Global newsletter

Will be used in accordance with our privacy policy.

Thrive Global
People look for retreats for themselves, in the country, by the coast, or in the hills . . . There is nowhere that a person can find a more peaceful and trouble-free retreat than in his own mind. . . . So constantly give yourself this retreat, and renew yourself.


We use cookies on our site to give you the best experience possible. By continuing to browse the site, you agree to this use. For more information on how we use cookies, see our Privacy Policy.