“I told you so” my mother would say. A childhood event taught me that wasn’t always true, and that’s how I turned into a renegade.
I was probably two or three at the time. My parents and I lived in England; I don’t remember exactly where. All I remember is that it was a beautiful sunny day, and I was happy. My parents had just bought me a beautiful, shiny red ball and we were on our way to the park. I was looking forward to playing with that ball. We had to go over a bridge to get to the other side of the field. There were row boats in the water, and it seemed like people were having fun.
My mother turned to me and said “why don’t I hold on to the ball for you till we get to the other side – it may slip from your hands and fall into the water, and if that happens we won’t be able to get it back”. I hadn’t thought about it until she mentioned it, and planted the fear of losing the ball in my heart. I didn’t want to part with my beautiful ball even for a moment, so I shook my head and held on tight with both hands. Guess what happened next? Yes, you’re right. Just as we got to the very top of the bridge, the beautiful red ball slipped out of my hands and fell into the water below. I was distraught. My mother scolded “see what happens when you don’t listen to your mother – we will never get the ball back now?”
I guess my self talk could have been “mum’s right – I should listen to her” but I was born a renegade. The voice in my head said “I will get my ball back, I will get my ball back”, my eyes were screwed tight and I was bawling my heart out. It seemed to take a very long time to get to the other end of the bridge, but we made it finally. As we got off, a man in one of the row boats waved us down. “Stop” he said and held up my beautiful red ball. We walked over to the edge of the water and I got my ball back.
“You were lucky” said my parents “this is unbelievable”. But the voice inside my head said “no, this is exactly the way it’s supposed to be – nothing is impossible”.
This experience taught me early in life that older isn’t necessarily wiser. My well meaning parents were unconsciously teaching me that I couldn’t have everything I wanted; that impossibilities existed and that luck was a matter of chance. But I knew better. I knew that everything I want is possible, not only possible but probable, not only probable but certain. I knew and understood the law of attraction, and then I forgot about it and lost my way in the jungle of life. I have rediscovered my true nature and regained control over my life. I look back now and recall my red ball with fondness. Don’t let anyone tell you that things you want are impossible or a matter of luck. Believe in possibility. Believe in yourself. Believe that the universe can deliver anything you want.