My Mindful Postpartum Journey
I sat at the edge of my bed praying to the Universe to give me a sign that everything was going to be ok. I wanted so badly to hold my baby, to be able to walk, and dance again. As I sat there, through the immense pain I was experiencing, a feeling of calmness came over me. I heard a voice in me telling me that I needed to pause, and be mindful of everything I do have in my life that I’m grateful for, and the answers will come. At that very moment, I opened my eyes. I knew I needed to choose a new perspective in my life.
It was five months after I had my third baby via C Section, but unlike my first two kids, this one was very different. I was in excruciating pain from my neck all the way down to my knees and until that month, I really had no clue why. My OB went MIA right after my surgery. I could not sit, stand, lay down, walk, drive, or even hold the baby without immense pain. I had finally gotten a CT scan done however even after consulting four surgeons, no one could figure out why I was in so much pain. They also couldn’t figure out why my incision was 12 inches long instead of the normal 3-4inches. They all agreed on one thing, that I definitely needed surgery, and if I don’t get one, then within 4-6 weeks I could be in a life threatening emergency situation.
I knew I had to change courses. Trusting in conventional western medicine and all the medications and pain killers I was taking was just not doing anything for me. I had lost all trust in doctors. It is at that point that I prayed to the Universe to give me a sign or something to show me the right way to go.
The next day when I woke up, an article about #Sadhguru showed up on my news feed and how his journey of linking the mind-heart connection came about. What are the odds right? Well I did believe that everything happens for a reason and I had faith in a new direction and that the Universe has my back.
The first point that #Sadhguru told us to do in this video was to think of three things I was grateful for each morning when I woke up. Although I was barely getting any sleep due to the pain and nursing the baby every three hours, I found it immensely hard to be grateful for anything. But, I really did want to heal myself naturally and I knew when the Universe sends you and “answer” you have to say YES. So, I did exactly that. Whenever I got up, before my mind went to the pain and suffering mode, I immediately rerouted it to thinking of things that I was grateful for.
I was grateful that the baby was healthy and alive and thriving. I was grateful that I was alive considering all the complications that had happened, given an OB that was obviously not in the right state of mind to cause this. I was grateful that I have three beautiful kids.
As I started being more mindful of everything I was grateful for, things did start getting better for me. I started receiving intuition to look into a particular natural healing modality, and where to find it. Somehow, new people showed up in my life that practiced gentle, and natural therapies.
I started to try these different therapies, and as I felt better, I started gaining more faith in my ability to heal myself too. After a couple weeks of doing this, I received a news feed on #Deepak Chopra and his mind-body connection work. I read some of his articles on being mindful of negative thoughts, and replace them with positive thoughts, as small or simple as they can be.
Since I was in so much pain, and knowing there really wasn’t a good reason for it, other than being under the knife of a negligent OB, I really did not know how I can think any positive thoughts, but I knew I had to try.
Instead of just thinking positive thoughts amidst all this pain and chaos, I created a mindfulness visualization that I practiced every morning just for a few minutes. Even though I was in immense pain at the moment, I closed my eyes and imagined myself full back to normal and walking again. I imagined being able to drive again by myself and dance again. Dancing is my passion and I can’t imagine life without being able to dance. I kept my mind focused on the feelings of joy and laughter and fun.
As I started doing this second step, even more positive things came into my life. The natural remedies and therapies that were coming into my experience really seemed to make a big difference. I had tried Reiki (energy healing), Chinese Traditional Medicine, Bowen therapy, Homeopathics, and just overall positive thinking. In fact, I felt so much better that I had another CT scan done which revealed that my double hernias had reduced in size from 25cm to 5cm. My organs had gone back to their normal places.
I knew I still had an immense amount of scar tissue to heal and a Diastasis Recti (abdominal separation) of six fingers to heal (also from the OB’s negligence), however I was making progress and felt good doing it.
I continued doing my mind-body-energy practices along with positive thinking and reaching for the next best feeling thought when negative emotions would surface for the next two years. I continued being mindful of every small success and celebrating them. I counted my blessings knowing that I had met so many wonderful healers and natural practitioners that rallied for me and were part of my support group. I felt like I had attracted to myself a new family of helpers that really had my highest and best good in their hearts.
As I woke up on a Monday morning in September of 2019, everything hit me like a pile of bricks. It had been two and a half years for me to heal fully, and here I was. I had actually been able to lie down to sleep. I was walking, driving, and even dancing again. Although, I still couldn’t hold the baby for too long standing up, atleast I was able to hold her. Life, in my opinion was good and I was grateful for my spiritual practice every day of being grateful, being positive, and choosing happy even amidst chaos or pain.
I knew I had to give back to other women out there, to all those that are told that medicines or invasive procedures are their only option. I knew I had to serve people and empower them to advocate for themselves, to bring mindfulness in everything they do, and take it everywhere they go. I had to do something. This was a turning point in my life, and I knew all of this happened for a reason.
I started getting trained in various healing modalities that saved my life. Mindfulness, Reiki, Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT), Core Rehabilitiation, Law of Attraction, and much much more. I started a Holistic Wellness practice of my own and feel so grateful to help people release their traumas and heal their mind, body, and soul. I also created a Wellness program at my place of work at the National Institutes of Health, and in my local community in Great Falls, VA.
I am passionate about giving back to society, and ensure that I do my part in it by writing blogs and articles on the power of the mind, and how mindfulness in conjunction with other natural modalities can really change your life. The saying “It’s all in your mind” is literally a true statement, however one that is not well understand, and even at times mocked as something that comes from an “unwell” person.
I pride myself to be living proof, that it really is all in your mind that will decide your path to heal, or your path to suffer. Which one would you choose?
Jothi Dugar is a Holistic Wellness practitioner, Dance Director, Chief Information Security Officer, and a mom of three. She speaking internationally and gives motivational talks on believing in yourself, as well as the power of the mind. For more information on Jothi Dugar, please visit www.jothidugar.com.