The goal is not how to stop being angry. The goal is to find your purpose and to move up what has always been a part of you since you came out of the womb: your consciousness. I am realizing that life is truly about reconnecting to your most childlike, pure, empathetic, compassionate self. When I was little I used to climb this massive pine tree in my backyard. I would go up 10 to 12 feet and sit on a strong branch that was perched so perfectly it gave me the best views into my backyard, my neighbor’s house, and the symmetrically aligned trees in the street. It was blissful the ability to sit, look at the sky and think to myself: this is beautiful. This is wonderful. I was eight years old and my sense of presence and gratitude was so profound. I used to twirl in my backyard and smile by myself, feeling the energy of life and knowing it was a part of me as much as I was a part of it. Other times I would lie down on the grass, look at the moving clouds and just smile. How did I become so conscious at such a young age? How was I compassionate and so fierce but yet so soft?
I am 26 years old now and sometimes I wonder if life has taken my purest form of self away. I realize that thinking about the past rather than the present is a disservice to acknowledging that it was not taken, it is buried. I am not my thoughts. I am not my emotions. I am not my job. I am not my identity. I am not my body. I am nothing but what I radiate. I am my consciousness. I am every fiber and vibration in my being that allows me to feel connected to my self, others, nature. Life is a source that is made up of energy and we are the energy. My childlike energy is still within me and life is about unleashing it so it radiates into the world. That is the strategy, that is the purpose of life.
My purpose is to heal and to help others seek their consciousness and potential to live a truly happy, peaceful, and loving life. It is the ability to show people how to be their best selves. I have been on a healing journey of understanding that anger is an energy that has protected me for so long so I could survive in school, work, anywhere. I need to love it so much that it eases and soothes back to its original form of energy. It is saying: Love yourself enough to let go of the noise, to truly let go so you can tap back into that child, the one who was so grateful for the tree to carry her weight and elevate her closer to the sky so she could just, be.